In the age of social media, new forms of relationship dynamics have emerged, one of which is "orbiting." Orbiting refers to a situation where a person, typically an ex-partner, stays connected to your online presence—watching your posts, liking your photos, and viewing your stories—without actually engaging in direct communication. They remain in the background of your life, providing no closure yet creating ongoing emotional strain.

While some may see this behavior as harmless or even a form of social voyeurism, it can be much more harmful. Psychologists often classify orbiting as a form of emotional abuse because it creates an unspoken, unresolved connection that disturbs the victim’s emotional well-being. The victim is left hanging, constantly wondering why the person remains in their online world but refuses meaningful engagement, leading to anxiety, confusion, and a sense of powerlessness.

What Is Orbiting and Why Is It Harmful?

Orbiting has become more common as social networks have evolved, allowing people to remain connected in an almost invisible way. While occasionally liking a post or viewing a story might seem harmless—easily justified with excuses like “It showed up in my feed” or “I was just being polite”—the impact can be significant. For the person on the receiving end, these actions are far from neutral. Every like or view raises questions—why are they still watching my life? What does this mean? The victim might interpret these actions as a flicker of hope for reconciliation or wonder if they should reach out. This creates a psychological loop of uncertainty, hindering their ability to move on. This unresolved situation leads to mental distress, increasing feelings of confusion and frustration. Psychologists argue that this lack of clear closure—this "unfinished business"—is what makes orbiting so damaging.

Orbiting and Emotional Manipulation: A Form of Abuse

Orbiting is not always a passive behavior. In many cases, it can be seen as a subtle form of emotional manipulation. By continuing to "orbit" through likes and views without communication or clarification, an ex-partner leaves the other person emotionally vulnerable. This behavior can be particularly harmful if the relationship ended abruptly or without adequate explanation. This situation plays out in a way that resembles a "closer and farther" dynamic, often referred to as "the swing." The person creates an emotional tug-of-war by periodically showing interest, but never fully committing to communication. It becomes a game, one in which the victim is left constantly guessing and trying to figure out whether there’s still hope for reconciliation. Orbiting also amplifies feelings of powerlessness. When one person exerts control over the relationship by providing no answers, it forces the victim into a passive role.

The Psychological Impact of Orbiting

Why is orbiting considered a form of emotional abuse? Because it forces the victim to remain in a psychological state of indecision and emotional turmoil. The victim becomes preoccupied with the ambiguous behavior of the person orbiting their life. This lack of resolution creates stress, as the victim searches for meaning behind every like or view, waiting for something more. The psychological toll can be significant, leading to anxiety, insecurity, and difficulty moving on. Orbiting is not just an annoying behavior—it’s a deliberate disruption of emotional healing. The act of continuously watching someone’s life without engaging in meaningful conversation or providing closure prevents the victim from truly moving on. This dynamic often leads to prolonged suffering, as the victim remains in an emotional holding pattern.

How to Deal with Orbiting: Setting Boundaries

If you find yourself in the position of being orbited by an ex or someone from your past, it’s important to set clear emotional boundaries. The first step is to recognize the emotional harm that orbiting can cause. You need to accept that the situation is unfair and harmful to your emotional well-being. Once you’ve acknowledged this, you can take action to protect yourself. Be clear and direct about the reasons for ending the relationship. If you've decided to move on, communicate this and then create distance by blocking or muting them on social media. This will allow you to break free from the emotional grip of orbiting and begin healing. While it can be hard to stop thinking about someone who is actively watching your life, it’s essential to redirect your energy toward your own healing. Psychologists recommend focusing on self-care and self-compassion. Acknowledge the emotional pain, but also recognize that you have the power to move forward. Surround yourself with supportive people and engage in activities that help you regain your sense of self.

Orbiting and Jealousy: The Emotional Undercurrent

Another emotional element tied to orbiting is jealousy. Social media has made it easier than ever to display our lives in ways that might provoke envy or resentment. After a breakup, people often post pictures of their new partners, vacations, or achievements, hoping to elicit a reaction from their ex. This can be an attempt to make the ex feel jealous or regretful, causing emotional turmoil for both parties. Orbiting feeds into this dynamic by providing just enough attention to keep the victim invested, without offering any real resolution. The resulting feelings of jealousy and longing can keep the person emotionally stuck, constantly checking to see if their ex is looking at their life.

Conclusion: Moving Beyond Orbiting

Orbiting is a complex emotional phenomenon that can cause significant harm to individuals, particularly when it involves emotional manipulation. Whether it’s an unconscious act or a deliberate form of control, orbiting prevents people from healing and moving on. The key to overcoming orbiting is setting boundaries, acknowledging the psychological harm, and focusing on self-care and healing. Remember, your emotional well-being is essential. Don’t let the unresolved actions of others keep you in an emotional prison. Seek closure, establish boundaries, and move forward with confidence. If you find that you are struggling to cope with the effects of orbiting or other emotional manipulation, seeking help from a therapist can provide valuable support.