Praising yourself sounds like a simple way to feel better, doesn’t it? Popular psychologists often encourage using affirmations to elevate your mood and build self-esteem. But, as harmless as it may seem, research suggests that affirmations are more complex than they appear. Let’s explore what affirmations are, how they work, and how to use them effectively—without unintended consequences.

What Are Affirmations?

Affirmations are short, positive statements you say to yourself to challenge negativity and cultivate a better mindset. For example, you might say, “I am confident in my abilities,” or “I deserve happiness and success.” These phrases aim to shift negative thought patterns into positive ones, reduce stress, and boost psychological well-being. Often, they’re repeated out loud or silently as part of a daily routine.

This idea isn’t new. In the early 20th century, French psychologist Emile Coué pioneered the practice of positive self-suggestion. Later, in the 1980s, affirmations gained widespread popularity thanks to psychologist Claude M. Steele, who theorized that self-affirming phrases could help people with low self-esteem regain confidence. However, while affirmations have their benefits, they don’t always work—and sometimes, they can even backfire.

Do Affirmations Really Work?

The short answer is: it depends. Coaches and motivational speakers often hail affirmations as life-changing, claiming they build confidence and help achieve goals. There’s some truth to this. Research suggests that affirmations may stimulate the brain’s reward centers, increasing dopamine, the so-called “happiness hormone.” This can help reduce stress and anxiety in the moment and keep you motivated.

But here’s the catch: affirmations are not magic. They’re a tool, not a cure-all. To truly benefit, affirmations need to be backed by action. Repeating phrases like “I am successful” won’t bring success unless you’re actively working toward your goals. Waiting for the universe to align in your favor won’t cut it.

In fact, affirmations can sometimes do more harm than good, especially for people with low self-esteem or unresolved psychological trauma. For these individuals, positive statements might feel fake, highlighting the gap between their current state and the ideal they’re trying to believe. This can lead to frustration, self-doubt, or even heightened anxiety.

When Affirmations Fall Short

Affirmations aren’t a universal fix. For some people, they might feel like empty words. For example, someone grappling with depression or trauma might find phrases like “I am happy” or “I am strong” unrelatable, even mocking. Instead of lifting their spirits, these affirmations can feel dismissive of their real struggles.

Psychological research underscores this risk. Studies show that affirmations can backfire for individuals with deeply rooted insecurities. This happens because overly optimistic phrases clash with their internal reality, reinforcing feelings of inadequacy instead of alleviating them.

It’s essential to remember that affirmations are just one tool in a larger mental health toolkit. For individuals dealing with serious challenges like depression, anxiety, or past trauma, therapy or professional support is often a better starting point.

How to Use Affirmations Effectively

If affirmations resonate with you, here’s how to make them work without triggering negative emotions. Keep these principles in mind:

1. Keep It Positive and Simple. Avoid negative phrasing. For instance, instead of saying, “I am not a failure,” reframe it as “I am capable of success.”

2. Focus on the Future. Future-oriented affirmations can feel more realistic and motivating. Compare “I will overcome challenges” to “I have already overcome everything.” The latter might feel untrue if you’re still struggling.

3. Pair Words with Actions. Affirmations are most powerful when combined with actionable steps. For instance, saying, “I am growing professionally,” is more effective if you’re also taking courses or working toward career goals.

4. Tune In to Your Emotions. Pay attention to how affirmations make you feel. If they trigger discomfort or resistance, try adjusting the phrasing or exploring alternative practices.

Alternatives to Traditional Affirmations

If affirmations don’t feel right, consider these alternatives for self-support:

• Acknowledge Your Feelings. Instead of forcing positivity, recognize what you’re experiencing. For example, say, “I feel overwhelmed right now,” and then think about practical steps you can take to address the situation.

• Practice Mindfulness. Accept your emotions without judgment. Just like rain, feelings come and go. Acknowledge their presence and trust they will pass.

• Use Positive Evidence. Combat negativity with facts. If you’re nervous about an interview, remind yourself of past successes, like “I’ve handled challenging projects before” or “Clients appreciate my skills.”

• Modify the Phrasing. For those who struggle with traditional affirmations, softer language might help. Use statements like:

  • “I love the idea of happiness” instead of “I am happy.”

  • “I am open to new opportunities” instead of “I have everything I want.”

  • “I am becoming more confident” instead of “I am confident.”

Final Thoughts

Affirmations can be a helpful way to boost your mood and motivation—but only if used thoughtfully. For some, they’re an empowering tool; for others, they might fall flat or feel counterproductive. The key is to experiment, listen to your emotions, and adapt your approach as needed. Remember, if affirmations don’t work for you, there are plenty of other techniques to support your mental well-being. Choose what feels right for you, and let your journey toward self-improvement be guided by kindness and self-awareness.