Imagine a person who constantly believes they are superior to those around them, requires continuous admiration, and manipulates others to achieve their goals. This is not merely selfish behavior—it is a sign of narcissism, a personality disorder that creates challenges not only for those around the individual but also for the narcissist themselves. Let’s delve into what narcissism is, how it forms, why it is harmful, and ways to manage it.

What is Narcissism?

Narcissism is a personality disorder characterized by an unwavering belief in one's own uniqueness and superiority over others. Narcissists constantly seek admiration and adoration, often manipulating those around them to meet their own needs. Such individuals struggle to establish deep and stable connections with others, leading to difficulties in both friendships and romantic relationships. Narcissists typically perceive themselves as more intelligent than others, considering their opinions the only correct ones, and do not acknowledge the superiority of others. In conflict situations, they always blame others, failing to recognize their own faults.

Formation of Narcissistic Disorder

The roots of narcissism delve deep into childhood, with the disorder beginning to form during the early years of life. Narcissistic disorder is often linked to the interaction between the child and their parents. If parents were cold, rejecting, consistently criticizing, or humiliating the child, this can lead to the development of a grandiose ego that creates an illusion of self-sufficiency, eliminating the need for parental support. Conversely, overpraising a child without appropriate recognition of their achievements can also foster narcissism. As a result, such a child does not learn to accept refusal, possesses an inflated self-esteem, and believes the world revolves around them. Extreme behaviors on either end become obstacles to the harmonious development of personality.

Why Narcissistic Disorder is Harmful to the Narcissist Themselves

At first glance, it may seem that a narcissist does not suffer from their disorder and even enjoys it. However, the reality is much more complex. The narcissist's sense of grandeur is paired with deep-seated feelings of inadequacy. They painfully experience moments when they are not perfect, lacking an internal support system. Any failure can become a true tragedy, severely damaging their self-esteem. The constant idealization of the external "I" and the internal emptiness lead to a disharmony within their personality.

Acute Feelings of Envy

Narcissists require constant confirmation of their perfection, making them painfully sensitive to the success of others. They evaluate everything in terms of "better - worse," causing them to feel inferior when others achieve something remarkable. This leads to intense feelings of envy and negative emotions that worsen their internal state.

Inability to Try New Things

Any new activity that involves potential mistakes or failures becomes unacceptable to a narcissist. They avoid participating in activities where they might appear inadequate or incapable, as for them, participation is not about the experience but solely about winning. This limits their personal growth and ability to self-improve.

How to Realize You're a Narcissist

Narcissists rarely admit that there is something wrong with them, as they view themselves as exceptional. However, if you often feel the need to be better than others, are ashamed to ask for help, seek constant approval, and feel envious of others' successes, this might indicate narcissistic tendencies. Answering "yes" to questions about self-esteem, relationships with others, and reactions to criticism can help determine if you might have narcissistic traits and if it's time to seek professional help.

What to Do if You Suspect You Have Narcissistic Disorder

Self-diagnosing narcissistic disorder is challenging, and overcoming it is impossible without professional assistance. A psychologist or psychotherapist can help identify the causes of the disorder and develop an individualized treatment plan. One approach is empathy, suggested by psychoanalyst Heinz Kohut, which allows breaking through the narcissist's defensive layers to reach their vulnerable areas. However, many narcissists might perceive empathy as an opportunity to manipulate others, so specialists sometimes use confrontational techniques to shake their grandiose self-image and trigger narcissistic rage. These techniques are just part of the nuanced work required to treat narcissism, making it crucial to seek help from qualified professionals.

Conclusion

Narcissism is a complex personality disorder that impacts all aspects of an individual's life. It creates difficulties both for the narcissist and for those around them. Understanding the causes and manifestations of narcissism, as well as seeking help from qualified professionals, are key steps toward overcoming this disorder. Harmonious personal development is possible only through recognizing one's flaws and striving for change, which requires significant inner strength and support from others.