Why Do You Feel Exhausted After Spending Time With Certain People?

Have you ever felt completely drained, deeply hurt, or just plain unhappy after spending time with a specific person? If this feeling persists, it might be time to seriously consider cutting ties. It sounds harsh, right? We are often taught to forgive and forget. But sometimes, walking away is the absolute best way to protect your peace and well-being.

Imagine you have a beautiful, flourishing garden. You water it diligently, care for it with love, and make sure it gets enough sunlight. But then, there is a weed that keeps coming back, taking up valuable space and stealing essential nutrients from your healthy plants. Just like that invasive weed, some people in your life might be draining your energy and joy, preventing you from blooming.

Here is how you can recognize when it is time to cut contact and prioritize yourself:

You're Guilted for Setting Boundaries

When someone makes you feel guilty for establishing boundaries, it is a major red flag that they do not respect your needs or your autonomy. Boundaries are the foundation of any healthy relationship. Imagine telling a friend you need some alone time after a tough, exhausting week. Instead of understanding, they accuse you of neglecting them, perhaps saying, "I guess I'm not important enough to you."

This reaction is manipulative; it shifts the focus from your valid need for self-care to their immediate need for attention. It demonstrates clearly that they prioritize their own desires over your comfort and mental health. A supportive person will respect your limits, not punish you for having them.

They Block Your Personal Growth

Have you ever felt someone's negativity becoming unbearable, or suddenly noticed red flags you once ignored? As explained by clinical psychologist Dr. Lindsay Gibson, sometimes our internal growth and emotional maturity make it so that we can really no longer tolerate things that we used to not even be aware of. We outgrow the dysfunction.

Now, when someone invalidates your opinion or devalues your boundaries, you may feel significantly more bothered because you have learned to regard yourself with more respect. So, you must ask yourself: Is someone in your life discouraging you from improving or trying new things? Are they constantly reopening old wounds or dragging you back into unhealthy patterns you have already worked hard to overcome? If so, it might be time to consider cutting ties to protect your progress.

Everything Is Always Your Fault

Being constantly painted as the "bad guy" in every argument can take a heavy toll on your emotional stability, undermine your self-worth, and leave you feeling perpetually invalidated. People who behave this way often lack self-awareness and rarely, if ever, change. They expect you to fix their problems while willfully ignoring their own faults.

If they cannot own up to their own mistakes, how can there ever be real growth or trust? Are you willing to carry the burden of every problem in the relationship? You shouldn't have to. In a healthy relationship—be it romantic, platonic, or familial—both parties should feel safe to express their thoughts and admit when they are wrong without fear of constant blame or retaliation.

The Bad Outweighs the Good

It is natural to cherish the good moments in a relationship—human beings are wired to hold onto hope. But what happens when those moments are overshadowed by a dark cloud of negativity and stress? Perhaps you find yourself justifying enduring the bad behavior because of occasional, sporadic glimpses of happiness. But you must ask: Are these fleeting positive experiences worth the ongoing emotional toll?

Holding on to the hope of better times can be comforting, but it is essential to weigh whether the overall impact on your well-being is worth it. As Dr. Lindsay Gibson notes, it is vital to evaluate these dynamics realistically. Stoic philosophy also advocates for accepting the reality of situations and people as they are, not as we wish them to be. If someone consistently demonstrates toxic behaviors without remorse or improvement, accept this reality and consider disengaging from them.

They Don't Keep in Contact

Have you ever had a "fake friend" who only calls you to ask for favors, or a family member who cannot be bothered with you until they need something from you? People like this only stick around when it is convenient for them but are gone the moment you want to have a genuine, two-way relationship, leaving you feeling used and unappreciated.

Relationships require reciprocity. You deserve better than being randomly ghosted without explanation or only being contacted when you can be of service to someone else.

They're an Energy Vampire

The Roman Emperor and Stoic philosopher Marcus Aurelius once said, "The happiness of your life depends on the quality of your thoughts." However, that also applies to the thoughts and attitudes of the people you surround yourself with. Imagine being around someone who drains you of all your emotional energy—constantly complaining, gossiping, or stirring up unnecessary drama. Their negativity feels like a heavy weight on your shoulders, making even a simple conversation feel physically exhausting.

Moreover, they may be so envious of others that they try to bring everyone down, undermine your achievements, and play the victim to gain sympathy. Experts emphasize the importance of safeguarding your emotional well-being by surrounding yourself with positivity and supportive relationships that uplift you instead of dragging you into a spiral of negativity.

All Roads Lead to Nowhere

Cutting ties with someone is not an easy decision for most people to make; it often comes with grief. But despite efforts to forgive and mend relationships, sometimes nothing changes. It is disheartening to keep trying without seeing any progress or mutual effort. A relationship cannot survive on the effort of just one person.

Experts stress self-preservation: investing in stagnant or toxic relationships hinders your growth and happiness. Choosing to walk away is not giving up—it is valuing your well-being enough to say "no more." Focus on relationships that uplift you.

If you recognize these signs in someone in your life, it might be time to consider cutting ties. It is not an easy decision, but remember: it is okay to prioritize your own well-being. Sometimes, the best way to show kindness to yourself is by walking away from those who harm you. Choose to surround yourself with positivity and support, and watch how your world transforms for the better.

You need to be logged in to send messages
Login Sign up
To create your specialist profile, please log in to your account.
Login Sign up
You need to be logged in to contact us
Login Sign up
To create a new Question, please log in or create an account
Login Sign up
Share on other sites

If you are considering psychotherapy but do not know where to start, a free initial consultation is the perfect first step. It will allow you to explore your options, ask questions, and feel more confident about taking the first step towards your well-being.

It is a 30-minute, completely free meeting with a Mental Health specialist that does not obligate you to anything.

What are the benefits of a free consultation?

Who is a free consultation suitable for?

Important:

Potential benefits of a free initial consultation

During this first session: potential clients have the chance to learn more about you and your approach before agreeing to work together.

Offering a free consultation will help you build trust with the client. It shows them that you want to give them a chance to make sure you are the right person to help them before they move forward. Additionally, you should also be confident that you can support your clients and that the client has problems that you can help them cope with. Also, you can avoid any ethical difficult situations about charging a client for a session in which you choose not to proceed based on fit.

We've found that people are more likely to proceed with therapy after a free consultation, as it lowers the barrier to starting the process. Many people starting therapy are apprehensive about the unknown, even if they've had sessions before. Our culture associates a "risk-free" mindset with free offers, helping people feel more comfortable during the initial conversation with a specialist.

Another key advantage for Specialist

Specialists offering free initial consultations will be featured prominently in our upcoming advertising campaign, giving you greater visibility.

It's important to note that the initial consultation differs from a typical therapy session:

No Internet Connection It seems you’ve lost your internet connection. Please refresh your page to try again. Your message has been sent