You’ve probably noticed this strange paradox about yourself: sometimes you’re suddenly the life of the party—jokes fly out of your mouth, you’re telling stories, and everyone’s hanging on every word—and then, two hours later, you quietly slip out the door because your social battery just hit zero.

Or the opposite happens: you plan a cozy evening with a book and tea, fully ready to hibernate, but a friend calls with a casual "come over, it’s fun," and twenty minutes later you’re dancing to a song you didn’t even know you liked.

If that sounds familiar—congratulations, you are most likely an ambivert.

And no, you’re not "a little introvert and a little extrovert." You belong to an entirely different category that psychology ignored for decades simply because it was easier to split the world into two neat, opposing camps.

Why ambiverts were silent for so long

When the famous Swiss psychiatrist Carl Jung introduced the concepts of introversion and extraversion in 1921, he himself wrote that the majority of people fall somewhere in the middle. But science loves clear labels. So for nearly a century, all the tests, all the corporate research, and all the magazine advice revolved around the two extremes.

Only in the 2010s did psychologists finally start taking the "middle" seriously. Adam Grant, a professor at Wharton (and the bestselling author of Give and Take), ran a groundbreaking study with sales managers to see who really performed best. The result was shocking to the business world: the top performers were not the pure extroverts, as everyone assumed.

The winners were the ambiverts.

Grant found that ambiverts earned 24% more revenue than introverts and a massive 32% more than extroverts. Why? Because they possessed the unique ability to turn their social mode on and off depending on the client’s needs, rather than being stuck in one default setting.

What’s really happening inside your brain

Now here’s the coolest part: the scientific explanation behind your behavior. It all comes down to cortical arousal.

• Extroverts have a naturally low baseline level of cortical arousal. They literally need more external stimulation just to feel normal—people, noise, action. That’s why they hunt for parties; they are trying to "wake up" their brain.
• Introverts have the opposite: their cortex is already highly active at rest. Any extra stimulation (loud music, too many concurrent conversations) quickly overloads the system, and they shut down to protect themselves.
• Ambiverts possess a flexible arousal level. Your nervous system is balanced.

One day you need silence to regulate, the next day you crave noise to feel alive. This isn’t a whim or a mood swing; it is a physiological ability of your brain to tolerate a wider range of dopamine stimulation depending on the situation. Research by psychologist Brian Little suggests that ambiverts have high levels of "self-regulation of behavior." In plain language: you are the best at "acting out of character" when necessary and returning to your true self when it’s safe.

What it actually looks like in real life

If you are still doubting, look for these scenarios. These are the examples everyone recognizes but rarely attributes to ambiversion:

• You can nail a three-hour job interview, be charismatic, charming, and open, then not answer a single phone call for the rest of the day.
• At a party, you might start off quietly in the corner, just observing the room, then suddenly become the center of attention because you "felt the moment" shift.
• You can work in a chaotic open-plan office without headphones and be totally fine, or spend a week working remotely from home and feel absolutely perfect.
• You’re equally happy alone or in a crowd of 50 people—just on different days.

The superpower nobody told you about

Most advice in the world is built for the extremes. We see articles like "How to make friends" (for introverts) or "How to learn to listen" (for extroverts). And ambiverts usually get told: "Well, you can do both, just pick one."

But the real power is never having to choose permanently. You can be whoever you need to be today and someone completely different tomorrow. You’re not betraying yourself—you’re simply using the full range of human possibilities. This flexibility makes ambiverts ideal in key social roles:

• Negotiators: They can listen deeply to understand the other side, but push forward and lead when the moment is right.
• Leaders: They can hear the quiet ones who have great ideas, but also match the energy of the active ones to motivate the team.
• Friends: They can talk till dawn or disappear for three days to recharge without drama, understanding both needs in others.

How to know for sure you’re an ambivert

To confirm you aren't just "an introvert who learned to party" or "an extrovert having a bad week," ask yourself these three critical questions:

1. After a great party, do you usually feel energized or drained?
   (Ambivert answer: It honestly depends on the specific party, the people there, and my mood beforehand.)
2. Can you genuinely enjoy both a Friday night out with friends and a Saturday alone with a series—without the slightest guilt or FOMO?
   (Yes, exactly. Both feel natural.)
3. When you’re tired, sometimes being around people helps perk you up, and sometimes only silence does?
   (Welcome to the club.)

And what to do with it

Nothing special. Just stop forcing yourself into someone else’s box.

You don’t have to "become an extrovert" just because you have a big presentation tomorrow. And you don’t have to feel guilty for wanting company sometimes even if your online personality test said "introvert." Your only job is to listen to today’s version of you. Stop searching for "who you really are" and allow yourself to be different on different days.

You’re not a broken introvert. You’re not an extrovert who sometimes gets tired. You are a separate, third category. And that’s exactly why it’s easier for you than for everyone else to live this strange, loud, and sometimes very quiet life.

So the next time someone asks, "Are you an introvert or an extrovert?" just smile and say:

"I’m whoever the situation needs. And sometimes—whoever I need."

References

• Grant, A. M. (2013). Rethinking the Extraverted Sales Ideal: The Ambivert Advantage. Psychological Science. (The study demonstrating the "inverted-U" relationship between extraversion and sales performance).
• Jung, C. G. (1921). Psychological Types. (The foundational text where Jung introduces the concepts and acknowledges the middle majority).
• Little, B. R. (2014). Me, Myself, and Us: The Science of Personality and the Art of Well-Being. (Discusses "free traits" and the ability to act out of character for core projects).