Social anxiety is a condition where a person feels fear, nervousness, or discomfort in social situations that require interaction with other people. It can be a fear of public speaking, working in a group, meeting new people or even eating in a public place. Social anxiety can prevent a person from enjoying life, achieving their goals, building relationships, and discovering their talents.

I know about social anxiety not only professionally, as a counselor helping people overcome their fears and complexes, but also personally. I myself struggled with my fear of public speaking, which prevented me from expressing my thoughts, sharing my ideas, and teaching others. I had the feeling that everyone was looking at me, judging me, waiting for my mistake. I tried to avoid such situations, but it only made my anxiety worse. I decided that I needed to change something and started working on my attitude, behavior and emotions. I also started doing group sessions for people who had similar problems and realized that I was not alone in my struggle.

In this article, I want to share with you some observations that I made during my journey and give you some tips that can help you overcome your social anxiety:

You are not alone

The first thing I want to tell you is that you are not alone. Social anxiety is a very common phenomenon that affects many people in different walks of life. According to the World Health Organization[^1^][1], about 10% of the world’s population suffers from social anxiety. It means that you are not alone in your feelings, thoughts and fears. There are many people who understand you and are going through the same thing as you. You can find support and compassion from your friends, family, self-help groups, or professional counselors. You don’t have to feel ashamed or guilty about your anxiety. It’s not your fault, and it doesn’t mean you’re weak or abnormal. It’s just a part of your personality that you can manage and improve.

Not all anxiety is bad

The second thing I want to tell you is that not all anxiety is bad. In fact, anxiety in its milder form can be a helpful and motivating force. This adaptive aspect of anxiety acts as an internal signaling system; it keeps us alert, focused, and ready to overcome challenges. The problem arises when this anxiety becomes all-consuming, interfering with our ability to function effectively in social settings.

You can learn to distinguish between adaptive and dysfunctional anxiety; and to adjust your anxiety level depending on the situation. One way to do this is to use cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), which helps you identify and change the negative thoughts that fuel your anxiety. For example, if you think you are bound to do something wrong or embarrass yourself, you can ask yourself how realistic it is, what evidence you have that this will happen, and what the alternative scenarios might be. You can also learn to use positive affirmations that boost your confidence and self-esteem. For example, you can tell yourself that you are good at communicating, that you are an interesting and kind person, and that you can handle any situation.