The same person can race a motorcycle at 120 mph without flinching yet panic at the thought of calling a stranger. Or glide effortlessly on a hang glider but avoid elevators in skyscrapers. The same brain judges risks differently—and it’s not random. It’s the result of evolution, emotions, and experience.

Control Is the Key Factor

Psychologists point to the illusion of control as a major reason for this selectivity. When we’re behind the wheel or holding a parachute cord, the brain thinks: “I’m in charge.” Even if the objective risk is high, the subjective sense of safety rises.

Research by Paul Slovic, an expert on risk perception, showed that people consider car trips safer than air travel because they’re the ones steering. In a 1987 paper published in Science, he analyzed how risk perception depends not on statistics but on emotions. Aviation data puts the chance of dying in a plane crash at 1 in 11 million flights. On the road, it’s 1 in 5,000 trips. Yet fear of flying remains widespread—because the passenger isn’t the pilot.

Familiarity Reduces Fear

Another mechanism is the mere exposure effect. What we encounter often feels less dangerous. A driver who speeds daily on the highway gets used to it. The same driver might avoid the subway because “it’s dark and cramped.”

Neuroscientist Joseph LeDoux, in his book The Emotional Brain (1996), explains that the amygdala—the brain’s fear center—reacts instantly to new or rare threats. If you skydive once a week, the amygdala “gets used to it,” and the alarm signal weakens. But calling the boss? A rare event—so adrenaline spikes.

Social Risks Hurt More

Then there’s social fear—rejection, judgment, loss of status. Evolutionarily, we fear exclusion from the group more than physical injury. Monkeys in a troop will risk their lives in fights but avoid conflict with the alpha.

Daniel Kahneman and Amos Tversky’s prospect theory (1979) showed that people avoid losses more strongly than they seek gains. Saying “no” to a boss risks losing a job or respect. Skydiving is a physical risk—but it’s controlled and has a clear endpoint (the parachute opens or it doesn’t).

How It Works in Real Life

Thrill-seeker on the road, terrified of public speaking: behind the wheel—control, speed gives a rush. On stage—others’ judgment, risk of humiliation.

Loves downhill skiing, avoids doctors: on the slope—adrenaline + skill. In the exam room—uncertainty + loss of bodily control.

What to Do About It

Don’t scold yourself for “illogical” fears. Instead, dig in:

• Write down exactly what scares you: death? pain? judgment?
• Check the stats (try Our World in Data).
• Gradually expose your brain to the fear—in small steps.

A friend of mine used to dread flying. He became an amateur pilot. Now he says: “When I’m at the controls—calm. As a passenger—anxiety returns.” Control came back—fear vanished.

Our risks aren’t about logic. They’re about how the brain interprets the world. Understanding that already lowers the anxiety.

References

• Kahneman, D., & Tversky, A. (1979). Prospect theory: An analysis of decision under risk. Econometrica, 47(2), 263–291.
• LeDoux, J. (1996). The Emotional Brain: The Mysterious Underpinnings of Emotional Life. Simon & Schuster.
• Slovic, P. (1987). Perception of risk. Science, 236(4799), 280–285.