How Online Family Counselling Sessions Work
In this guide, I will explain how I work with couples who are married or in a relationship online. I also offer online family counselling for larger families, as well as for parents and adult children, one parent and an adult son or daughter, and so on.
Online family counselling sessions are usually done on Google Meet. I recommend that couples use separate devices and stay in different rooms if they can. This way, they can feel more comfortable and free to express themselves. This is not a requirement, but a suggestion.
The first session is meant to identify and clarify what the couple wants to achieve and how we can work together to reach that goal. For those who are planning to join me for online family counselling, it is important to understand the following:
- My main goal and task is to help the partners, their bond, and their interaction with each other.
- I do not take sides or favor one partner over the other. I give everyone equal time and attention, and I make sure that everyone has a chance to speak and be heard. I ask questions to help them clarify their thoughts and feelings, and I prevent any rude or insulting remarks from either partner. I also encourage them to use each other’s names instead of pronouns when they talk about each other.
- I do not tell them what to do or how to solve their problems. I help them understand their situation, its causes and consequences, and what they want to accomplish. I also help them figure out how to get there.
- I treat both partners with kindness, respect, and empathy. I do not judge them, blame them, or criticize them.
In the first session, I ask both partners to describe their perspective on the current situation in the following order:
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Tell me how you met, what attracted and impressed you about them, and what you liked about them. What is good about your relationship with them, and why is it valuable to you?
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Tell me what you are currently unhappy with in the relationship, in your partner’s behavior, or in your own behavior. Focus on their actions, not their personality, and give me some specific examples that make you feel negative emotions. Tell me when this started and how long it has been going on.
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Tell me what you want from the relationship in the future, why you value your partner and your relationship with them, and whether you believe that you can improve your relationship. Tell me if you are willing to work on the relationship, as well as on yourself.