Do you ever feel like you're constantly running on empty, even after the weekend? You're not alone. Many people struggle to truly rest, even when they have the time. Why is it so hard to disconnect and recharge, and what can we do about it? Weekends are meant for rest, relaxation, and recharging. But for some people, downtime feels uncomfortable, and the idea of not being productive feels impossible. Why is it so hard to take a break? Why can’t we simply relax when we have the time? Let’s explore how to rest effectively and why taking time off isn’t always as easy as it sounds.

What Is Rest, Really?

Rest doesn’t just mean lying in bed or binge-watching your favorite show. While that’s one way to unwind, rest comes in many forms. It’s not about being idle—it’s about engaging in activities that recharge your mind and body. Whether it's spending time with friends, exercising, or engaging in a hobby, there are many ways to rest. Rest is also about creating space for reflection and processing experiences. Sometimes, socializing or pursuing a hobby might not feel like “rest,” but it’s a healthy form of recovery. For example, a walk with friends or a creative activity like painting can be just as refreshing as lying on the couch. The key is to step away from routine and let your mind and body breathe.

Why Do We Struggle to Rest?

Learned Beliefs and Attitudes About Rest: Many of us develop specific beliefs and attitudes about rest based on our upbringing and societal influences. If you didn’t see proper relaxation modeled growing up, it can be tough to understand what it really means to rest. Some of us were raised in environments where work never seemed to stop—parents were always busy, and resting was something that didn’t feel “productive.” This can lead to the belief that rest must be “earned” and is tied to the idea of productivity. As a result, it can be difficult to justify rest when there’s always something on your to-do list. Even as adults, the concept of taking time off often feels like a luxury or something that comes after being “productive.” When we feel like we haven’t “earned” rest, it’s hard to enjoy it. We might push through feelings of exhaustion or guilt and continue working, even when our bodies and minds need a break. Societal pressures to be constantly busy and productive also contribute to this struggle. You Were Never Taught How to Rest. Rest Must Be “Earned”.

Beliefs About “Proper” Rest

For some, the idea of rest becomes about doing something “worthy.” We believe that the only true rest comes from exciting vacations or fulfilling activities. This belief can prevent us from enjoying quieter, more passive forms of relaxation—like taking a walk in the park or knitting a scarf. The pressure to have “productive” rest can lead to frustration or dissatisfaction when the rest doesn’t feel as fulfilling as expected. You might think that you need a lavish trip to recharge, when in reality, simpler activities like reading a book or practicing yoga might be just as effective.

How to Figure Out What Kind of Rest You Need

In cognitive behavioral therapy, one key lesson is to view your thoughts and assumptions as hypotheses—things that can be tested. If you think you won’t enjoy an activity, try it anyway to see if it’s true. For instance, if you’ve always thought that painting would be boring, try it out and see how you feel. You might find that it’s more enjoyable than expected, or you might confirm that it’s not for you—and that’s fine too. Start by making a list of potential activities that could help you relax. These don’t need to be things you’ve already done—just brainstorm ideas and see what appeals to you. Afterward, you can evaluate your expectations. Are you basing them on past experiences or assumptions? Challenge these thoughts to see if they are accurate or if there’s room for new experiences.

Types of Rest You Might Need

Rest isn’t one-size-fits-all. There are many types of relaxation, and it’s important to explore what works for you. American psychologist Sandra Dalton-Smith identified seven types of rest that you can mix and match depending on what you need:

• Physical Rest: This involves activities that help your body recover. If you've been working hard physically, your body needs time to recuperate. Examples include getting adequate sleep, taking naps, stretching, getting a massage, or taking a warm bath. Sports, stretching, or even a nap can be refreshing.
• Mental Rest: Mental rest is essential for those who engage in intellectual tasks daily. It involves stepping away from thinking and letting your mind switch off. Examples include taking short breaks during work, going for a walk in nature, meditating, or listening to calming music. Going for a walk, knitting, or doing an activity that doesn’t require too much mental energy can be effective.
• Emotional Rest: This type of rest is vital for those who experience a lot of stress or hold onto their emotions. Examples include talking with a trusted friend or therapist, journaling, or engaging in creative expression. Talking with a therapist, journaling, or even screaming into a pillow (in a safe space) can help release pent-up feelings.
• Social Rest: For those who interact with people all day, social rest means having some time away from socializing or being in high-pressure social environments. Examples include spending time alone, reading a book, or enjoying a quiet activity with a close friend or family member. It’s about enjoying quiet time with close friends or spending time alone to recharge.
• Sensory Rest: Our senses are constantly bombarded, especially with screens and technology. Sensory rest means taking a break from digital devices, looking at distant objects to rest your eyes, or even simply taking a nap in a quiet, dark space.
• Creative Rest: Creative rest encourages your brain to reset and tap into new ideas. You don’t need to be an artist to benefit from this type of rest. Examples include listening to music, visiting an art gallery or museum, reading a book, or spending time in nature. Playing music, visiting an art gallery, or watching a creative performance can stimulate your mind.
• Spiritual Rest: This type of rest connects to a deeper sense of meaning and purpose. Examples include meditation, spending time in nature, practicing yoga, or engaging in religious or spiritual practices. Meditation, time in nature, or religious practices can provide spiritual rest and allow you to feel grounded and connected.

Adjusting Your Approach to Rest

It’s important to remember that rest can take many forms, and one type may work better for you than others at different times. The goal is to avoid over-scheduling yourself with obligations and giving yourself permission to relax without guilt. Start experimenting with different types of rest, observe what works for you, and be open to adjusting your approach as needed. It's important to be patient with yourself and not expect to change deeply ingrained habits overnight. If you find yourself struggling to rest, reflect on your beliefs about rest. Are they realistic, or are you holding onto old patterns that might not serve you anymore? By challenging these ideas and exploring different ways to rest, you can begin to create healthier, more sustainable relaxation habits.

Conclusion

Rest is essential for maintaining mental and physical health, but it’s not always easy to do. Understanding your own needs and overcoming ingrained beliefs about relaxation can help you finally give yourself the break you deserve. Whether it’s taking a walk, indulging in a hobby, or simply enjoying a quiet moment, the important thing is to find what works for you.