What is self-esteem?

Self-esteem refers to a belief and a sense of confidence in ones abilities and value, it is basically our opinion about ourselves. Self-esteem is a critical element of a person's personality and mental health. A healthy level of self-esteem helps generate and sustain the positive and good image of ourselves and life in general, it has the capacity to build better health, career, relationships and overall mental well-being. It aids in developing an ability to accept, change, adapt and endure life's challenges and its ups and downs.

Good news is that self-esteem can be measured, tested and improved. It is not stagnant. With learning and experiences, it has the capacity to change and improve over a period of time. Self-esteem has been linked to some mental health markers such as anxiety, chronic low mood/depression, low/high life satisfaction. In this blog, we shall discover the signs of low self esteem and few things which you could do to raise it.

What causes low self esteem:

Low self-esteem often begins in childhood. Feedbacks both positive and negative from our teachers, parents, friends, peers, siblings, relatives tend to have an impact on us, but unfortunately the bad feedbacks and messages happen to stay and shape the way we look at ourselves.

Today's social media frenzy is having a negative impact on self-esteem, especially in adolescents. Some personality types too determine the level for instance, some individuals are more prone to negative thinking than the others.

Abandonment, prolonged abuse and neglect, chronic stress, bereavement, toxic relationships, difficult times are more than capable of lowering an individual's self-esteem. Let us look at some of the signs of low self-esteem-

• Blaming yourself constantly and unfairly
• Critical and negative self-talk
• Having doubts regarding your ability to accomplish things/ self- doubt
• Ignoring achievements like they don't matter
• Constant comparisons
• General dissatisfaction with life
• Feelings of hopelessness and worthlessness
• Talking poorly about yourself and about your worth
• Constantly trying to prove yourself
• Inability to draw or sustain boundaries in relationships and at work front
• Attention seeking behavior
• People pleasing
• Thinking you don't deserve to have a better or fun-filled life
• Chronic displeasure and sadness without any specific reason
• Feelings of insecurity and lack of self-expression
• Struggle to establish and sustain healthy relationships, especially romantic relationships

What can be done?

• Self-awareness: Figure out the root cause, recognize signs, triggers and patterns
• Identify thought patterns, feelings and associated behavior
• Self-compassion, be kind and talk positively towards yourself, avoid self-loathing
• Build self-love
• Accept yourself with all your strengths and weaknesses
• Do stuff that you like and are good at
• Avoid comparing your achievements, looks and life with those of others on social media or in real life
• Learn assertiveness skills
• Acquire and practice effective interpersonal communication skills from a relationship coach
• Learn about abuse and shame and create mutual and amicable relationships
• Start drawing boundaries by learning to say 'NO'
• Set realistic goals and have reasonable expectations from yourself, if you falter or fail learn to forgive yourself, let go and move on
• See a qualified therapist to check for common mental health issues

Having low self-esteem can wreak havoc in anyone's life. By being self-aware and by recognizing signs, and reasons behind this phenomenon you can successfully facilitate a journey towards constructing a healthy, happy and harmonious life