As a family and couple therapist, I often encounter couples who struggle with sexuality issues. Sexuality is a vital part of human relationships, and it can affect the quality and happiness of the couple and the family. When sexuality problems arise, they can cause distress, frustration, resentment, and even conflict. That is why I believe that couple therapy can be a helpful way to address sexuality issues and enhance intimacy in relationships. In this article, I will share with you some of the approaches that a couple therapist uses in their practice.

Couple therapy and sexuality: different approaches to treatment:

The first thing that a couple therapist does when they work with couples who have sexuality issues is to create a safe and supportive space for them to talk about their sexual concerns. A couple therapist understands that talking about sex can be difficult and embarrassing for some people, so they try to make them feel comfortable and respected. A couple therapist listens to their feelings, needs, and desires, and encourages them to be honest and open with each other. A couple therapist also helps them to understand that sexuality is not only a physical act, but also a psychological, emotional, social, and relational phenomenon.

Different couples may have different sexuality issues, and there is no one-size-fits-all solution. That is why a couple therapist uses different approaches to couple therapy and sexuality, depending on the needs and preferences of each couple. A couple therapist draws from different theoretical models and methods, such as cognitive-behavioral therapy, systemic therapy, narrative therapy, and solution-focused therapy. A couple therapist also considers the physiological, psychological, sociocultural, and relational factors that influence sexuality.

For example, some couples may have negative or unrealistic beliefs about sex, such as “sex should always be spontaneous and passionate”, or “sex is only for procreation”. These beliefs can create pressure and anxiety, and interfere with sexual enjoyment. In such cases, a couple therapist uses cognitive-behavioral techniques to help them identify and challenge their beliefs, and replace them with more positive and realistic ones. A couple therapist also provides them with sexuality education, such as information about sexual anatomy, physiology, response, and variation.

Some couples may have sexuality issues that stem from the context of their relationships, such as unresolved conflicts, lack of trust, poor communication, or emotional distance. These issues can affect the sexual dynamics and intimacy of the couple. In such cases, a couple therapist uses systemic or narrative techniques to help them explore and understand the patterns and stories that shape their sexuality. A couple therapist also helps them to express their feelings and needs, and to listen and empathize with each other. A couple therapist also teaches them communication skills, such as how to give and receive feedback, how to negotiate and compromise, and how to resolve conflicts constructively.

Some couples may have sexuality issues that are related to stress, anxiety, depression, or trauma. These issues can affect the mood, arousal, performance, and satisfaction of the couple. In such cases, a couple therapist uses relaxation and stress reduction techniques, such as breathing exercises, mindfulness, meditation, or yoga. A couple therapist also helps them to cope with their emotions, and to seek professional help if needed. A couple therapist also works with them to increase their emotional intimacy, such as by sharing their thoughts and feelings, giving and receiving compliments, showing affection, and spending quality time together.

Family or couple therapy interventions can help couples improve their sexuality and intimacy in various ways. They can help them to increase their knowledge and awareness, to change their attitudes and behaviors, to enhance their communication and connection, and to reduce their stress and distress. They can also help them to discover and celebrate their sexual diversity and uniqueness, and to find new ways of expressing and enjoying their sexuality.

In conclusion, family or couple therapy is an effective tool for dealing with sexual issues in the context of family or couple relationships. It can help couples to overcome their sexual difficulties, and to enrich their sexual lives. It can also help them to strengthen their bond and harmony, and to increase their well-being and happiness. Working with sexuality requires sensitivity, empathy, and patience from a couple therapist, as well as the active participation and cooperation of all members.