Chronic stress can be a real danger to both your mental and physical health. It’s easy to say, “just relax,” but we all know that during prolonged periods of crisis, staying calm can feel almost impossible. When you’re overwhelmed and ready to snap, the big question is: how do you manage stress effectively without letting it destroy you?

Back in 1983, cardiologist Robert Elliot shared some simple yet powerful advice on handling stress: “Rule number one: don't kill yourself at work over small things. Rule number two: everything at work is small stuff.” This might sound a bit blunt, but it’s a reminder that many of the things we stress about aren’t worth risking our health for. Learning to let go of the little things can be a crucial step toward maintaining mental well-being.

Not all stress is bad. While we often think of stress as something negative, research has shown that short-term stress can actually be beneficial. According to Elizabeth Kirby, a researcher at UC Berkeley, acute stress can help energize our brains. Her studies found that short-term stress led to the growth of new nerve cells, enhancing the mental abilities of test animals. This type of stress helps us adapt, making us sharper and more resilient in the face of new challenges. In moderation, stress can keep us on our toes, ready to respond to whatever life throws our way.

But then there’s chronic stress. Unlike short-term stress, chronic stress takes a toll on both the body and mind. Studies have shown that long-term exposure to stress hampers the growth of new neurons in the hippocampus—the part of the brain responsible for memory. This means chronic stress can affect your ability to remember and learn. Beyond its effects on the brain, chronic stress also impacts physical health, contributing to conditions like heart disease, obesity, and depression. It’s clear that managing long-term stress is essential for both mental and physical health.

So, what can we do? The first thing is to focus on the positives. When we face challenges, we might not be able to control what happens to us, but we can control our response. People who manage stress well tend to focus on what’s going right. They don’t dwell on situations they can’t control. Instead, they channel their energy toward what they can influence. This kind of mindset helps prevent feelings of helplessness and keeps stress from becoming overwhelming. It also fosters a strong sense of self-worth, which is crucial for maintaining emotional resilience.

Another key practice is to cultivate gratitude. Even when life is tough, there are always small moments of joy if we look for them. Gratitude helps shift our focus away from stressors and towards what we value. This doesn’t need to be complicated—sometimes just writing down one thing you’re thankful for each day can make a difference. Psychologically, this practice strengthens positive emotions and helps buffer against stress.

In our connected world, it’s easy to feel like we need to be available all the time. But to truly manage stress, it’s important to disconnect periodically. Taking breaks from work and technology gives your brain time to recharge. Hobbies are a great way to do this. Engaging in activities that aren’t related to work can provide a mental reset and reduce stress levels. Those who cope well with stress often protect their personal time, creating space to do things they enjoy. This isn’t just about escaping work—it’s about nurturing different aspects of yourself that bring fulfillment and joy.

Building social connections is also incredibly important. We’re social beings, and having a strong support network can help buffer against stress. Knowing that you have people to turn to when times get tough can provide emotional relief and boost confidence. Social support is one of the most effective ways to protect your mental health, and reaching out to others in times of need can reduce the feelings of isolation that often accompany stressful situations.

Lastly, it’s helpful to take a long-term perspective. When we’re in the middle of a crisis, it’s easy to feel like things will never get better. But if you think back to a stressful event from years ago, you’ll probably find that it’s not as intense in your memory now as it was back then. Reminding yourself that “this too shall pass” can make current challenges feel more manageable. Having long-term goals also helps shift your focus beyond immediate stressors, providing a sense of direction and purpose even in difficult times.

Managing stress isn’t about eliminating it entirely—it’s about finding healthy ways to cope and keeping perspective. By focusing on what we can control, practicing gratitude, disconnecting when needed, building strong relationships, and keeping a long-term view, we can navigate stressful situations without letting them consume us. It’s these simple, mindful habits that can make all the difference when life gets tough.