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Lying Without a Reason

Why do some people lie even when there's no real reason to? My friend lies a lot, even about small, unimportant things. She doesn’t seem to get anything from it, but when I question her, she gets upset. Why might someone do this? Any thoughts or advice would be really helpful.

York
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10548 Emma Tsaruk https://mentalzon.s3.amazonaws.com/photo/d119633a-67d3-4586-b58d-a4f6999c8e28.jpg?1699812653146
13180 Duygu Hunerli
Counselor, Marriage & Family Associate and Psychologist
Duygu Hunerli
Counselor, Marriage & Family Associate and Psychologist
https://mentalzon.s3.amazonaws.com/photo/ebc8fb81-8c8d-4e7d-857a-d04a6a94890d.jpg?1724225436713
Counselor, Marriage & Family Associate and Psychologist

Hi York,

Some people lie compulsively even when there’s no clear benefit, and this can often stem from deeper psychological factors. It’s tied to deeper emotional issues or past experiences where lying became a coping mechanism. For some, it’s about self-esteem or creating a more appealing image. Even small lies can temporarily give them a sense of control over how others perceive them. Others develop lying as a habit or a way to avoid discomfort and potential judgment, even over trivial matters. It can feel like a reflex rather than a conscious decision. If a confrontation upsets your friend, focusing on open, non-judgmental communication might make her feel safer to be honest.

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Emma Tsaruk
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If you don't see the reason, it doesn't mean there isn't one. People are driven by many motivations—both obvious and hidden. Without motivation, no one would take any action. Unless, of course, we're talking about a mental disorder—but that's an entirely different story.

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