Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about productivity. It feels like we’re all caught between two extremes: either chasing the high of checking off endless tasks, or trying to escape that pressure altogether. Both sides have their points, but when I look back at my own life, I realize the real sweet spot is somewhere in the middle—and it’s deeply personal.

When Everything Is for the Goal

There was a season when I was all in. I had a full-time job seeing clients, and then in the evenings and on weekends—sometimes until midnight or 1 a.m.—I poured myself into building something of my own. I wanted to create a project that could eventually bring in income and feel truly meaningful. I was writing, editing, and learning everything I could about running an online business, easily putting in an extra 20 hours a week on top of my day job.

Honestly? I’m still proud of that time. Yes, I was tired, but I wasn’t completely burned out. I still worked out, spent time with the people I love, and took care of myself. It felt right because it lined up perfectly with what mattered most to me then. I don’t regret a single late night, because I knew exactly what it was for.

When You Hit the Brakes

Then came a different chapter. I gave myself permission to slow down. Kids arrived, the pandemic hit, and my husband was working frontline shifts with almost no time at home. I cut my work hours to the bare minimum—sometimes just trying to get through the day with a baby and no childcare.

And you know what? That felt right too. In that season, productivity meant keeping everyone fed, getting a little sleep, and staying halfway sane. It was no less valuable than the years of grinding.

So What Do We Even Mean by Productivity?

That’s when it really hit me. We tend to label a day productive only if we got a lot done at work or knocked out adult responsibilities—bills paid, house cleaned, or deadlines met. But if I spent the whole day playing with my kids, reading for pleasure, or just staring at the ceiling to recharge, is that wasted time?

I’ve started seeing it differently. Productivity isn’t about the sheer volume of tasks completed. It’s about whether what I did today moved me closer to what matters most to me right now. If I need recovery, then a day on the couch with a show might be the most productive thing I could do. If I’m chasing a big goal, then those late nights at the computer are productive too. It all depends on my current priorities.

Why We Tie Our Worth to Our To-Do List

This is the part that hurts. So many of us quietly believe: If I got a lot done, I’m good, I’m valuable. If I didn’t accomplish anything serious, then I’m lazy, I’m failing. And that’s brutal. I see it all the time—people feel guilty the moment a day doesn’t produce visible results. We start inventing tasks just to feel productive again. Instead of sitting outside with a cup of coffee and the dog on our lap, our brain screams, Quick, do something useful!

But our worth isn’t tied to how many boxes we check. We’re valuable simply because we exist. Sleep, rest, and doing nothing are not luxuries; they’re necessities. Without them, we fall apart.

Finding Your Own Balance

I don’t have a one-size-fits-all answer. For some people right now, healthy productivity means leaning hard into a big goal. For others, it means a gentler pace with more time for family or hobbies. And sometimes it means giving yourself permission to rest without guilt.

The key is to keep asking: Does how I’m spending my time right now align with what truly matters to me in this season? If the answer is yes—that’s productivity. The real, sustainable kind.

References

• Nagoski, E., & Nagoski, A. (2019). Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle. Ballantine Books. Explains how the constant drive for productivity leads to chronic stress and offers evidence-based ways to complete the stress cycle through rest and self-care.
• Burkeman, O. (2021). Four Thousand Weeks: Time Management for Mortals. Farrar, Straus and Giroux. Challenges the myth of endless productivity, arguing that accepting life’s limits helps us focus on what actually matters.
• Pang, A. S.-K. (2016). Rest: Why You Get More Done When You Work Less. Basic Books. Draws on scientific research to show that deliberate rest improves creativity, focus, and long-term performance.