Beyond Likes and Follows: A 20-Question Test for Real Connection
We often hear that success, wealth, and fulfillment don't materialize in a vacuum. They flow into our lives through the intricate network of people we connect with. Our ability to build and maintain these relationships—our sociability—is a powerful, yet often overlooked, key to unlocking our potential. Those who struggle to form social bonds may find themselves on a lonelier path, where significant achievements remain just out of reach.
So, where do you stand? This short exercise is designed for honest self-reflection. There are no right or wrong answers, only an opportunity to better understand your own social instincts. Take a moment to consider the following 20 statements. Answer truthfully, for your own insight, and keep a running tally of your points.
A Quiet Moment for Self-Discovery
Read each question carefully and assign points based on the answer that feels most true to you.
- I like to support other people.
Yes - 1 point, No - 0 points. - I am more focused on gaining influence than friendship.
Yes - 0 points, No - 1 point. - When I learn about the success of someone close to me, my mood worsens.
Yes - 0 points, No - 1 point. - I feel that I have more rights than obligations in relation to my friends and colleagues.
Yes - 0 points, No - 1 point. - To be satisfied with myself, I must help someone with something.
Yes - 1 point, No - 0 points. - My worries seem to disappear when I am among friends.
Yes - 1 point, No - 0 points. - I feel thoroughly tired of my friends.
Yes - 0 points, No - 1 point. - When I am busy with work, the presence of other people irritates me.
Yes - 0 points, No - 1 point. - I am happy to help others, even if it causes me significant difficulty.
Yes - 1 point, No - 0 points. - Out of respect for a friend, I can agree with their opinion, even if I believe they are wrong.
Yes - 1 point, No - 0 points. - When I am alone, I feel more anxiety and tension than when I am among people.
Yes - 1 point, No - 0 points. - I believe that the main joy in life is communication.
Yes - 1 point, No - 0 points. - I prefer to have fewer friends, but very close ones.
Yes - 0 points, No - 1 point. - I genuinely like to be among people.
Yes - 1 point, No - 0 points. - I worry for a long time after a quarrel with loved ones.
Yes - 1 point, No - 0 points. - I believe I have more friends than many other people.
Yes - 1 point, No - 0 points. - I trust my own intuition and opinion about people more than what others say about them.
Yes - 1 point, No - 0 points. - I attach greater importance to material well-being and prestige than to the joy of communication with people close to me.
Yes - 0 points, No - 1 point. - I sympathize with people who do not have close friends or family.
Yes - 1 point, No - 0 points. - People have often been ungrateful towards me.
Yes - 0 points, No - 1 point.
Understanding Your Score
Now, let's reflect on what your total score might suggest about your approach to social connection.
If you scored up to 10 points:
This score might indicate that you are a more reserved individual who finds comfort in solitude or in a small, tightly-knit circle. It is not a verdict on your future, but rather a point of awareness. If you feel that a lack of broader social contact is limiting you, this could be an invitation to gently explore new ways of building connections that feel authentic to you. Meaningful relationships are a skill that can be cultivated over time.
If you scored from 11 to 14 points:
This is a common range, suggesting a healthy balance in your social life. You likely navigate social situations with a good degree of comfort, building necessary connections while also appreciating your own independence. You have a solid foundation for social success, and with continued awareness, you can strengthen these bonds even further.
If you scored from 15 to 20 points:
A score in this range points to a naturally outgoing and socially attuned personality. You are likely an extrovert who thrives on interaction and draws energy from being with others. Your ability to connect easily with people is a tremendous asset that, when channeled constructively, can open many doors and pave the way for remarkable success and a rich, fulfilling life.