Self harm: how to understand and what to do


Self-harm, also known as non-suicidal self-injury (NSSI), refers to behaviors where a person deliberately hurts themselves without the intention of ending their life. While they may seem alarming, it is important to recognize that, in most cases, they are not a suicide attempt, but rather a way of coping with overwhelming emotions.

Why Does Self-Harm Occur?

Understanding the reasons behind self-harm is key to offering effective support. These behaviors are often a response to difficult emotions, such as:

  1. Intense emotional stress: Many people who self-harm do so to reduce internal tension. It can be a way to externalize emotional pain physically.
  2. Feelings of emptiness or disconnection: Some individuals turn to self-harm to feel something when they are emotionally numb or disconnected.
  3. Low self-esteem: Self-harm is often linked to feelings of self-hatred, shame, or guilt.
  4. Control: For some people, inflicting physical pain gives them a sense of control over their emotions or circumstances.
  5. Communication: Although not always conscious, some individuals use self-harm as a way to express their distress to others or as a cry for help.

Risk Factors

People who self-harm often face multiple emotional and psychological challenges, such as depression, anxiety, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), or eating disorders. Factors such as a history of abuse, bullying, social pressure, or family difficulties can increase the likelihood of engaging in these behaviors.

What to Do if Someone Self-Harms

  1. Listen without judgment: If someone close to you self-harms, the most important thing is to offer emotional support without judgment. Avoid minimizing their feelings or simply telling them to "stop doing it," as this can hinder the path to recovery.
  2. Encourage seeking professional help: A therapist or psychologist can help identify the underlying causes and provide strategies for managing emotions in healthier ways. Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) and dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) are effective approaches for treating self-harm.
  3. Explore healthy alternatives: Instead of turning to physical pain, it may be helpful to suggest other ways of expressing or releasing emotional tension, such as writing, drawing, exercising, practicing meditation, or talking to a trusted friend.
  4. Create a safe environment: Helping the person avoid access to objects they could use for self-harm can be a temporary measure until they develop healthier tools for coping with pain.

How to Prevent Self-Harm

Preventing self-harm is not easy, as it requires addressing the underlying emotional and psychological causes. Some strategies include:

  • Encouraging open communication about emotions from a young age.
  • Developing emotional coping skills, such as emotional regulation and resilience.
  • Promoting positive self-esteem and a sense of belonging within a community or support group.

Final Reflection

Self-harm is a complex behavior, but it is possible to overcome it with the right support. Understanding the reasons behind this behavior, offering empathy, and guiding the person toward professional help are key steps on the road to healing.

Counseling Psychologist, Psychoanalyst and Registered Psychoth... Show more
Luisa
Counseling Psychologist, Psychoanalyst and Registered Psychoth... Show more

As a dedicated and experienced psychotherapist based in central London, I am committed to providing compassionate and effective therapy to individuals seeking support and guidance. With a strong foundation in both English and Spanish, I offer therapy sessions tailored to the unique needs of a diverse clientele. My practice is grounded in a deep understanding of psychological principles and a genuine desire to help clients navigate their personal challenges and achieve emotional well-being.

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162-168 Regent Street, Westminster, London, W1B 5TB, England, United Kingdom
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As a dedicated and experienced psychotherapist based in central London, I am committed to providing compassionate and effective therapy to individuals seeking support and guidance. With a strong foundation in both English and Spanish, I offer therapy sessions tailored to the unique needs of a diverse clientele. My practice is grounded in a deep understanding of psychological principles and a genuine desire to help clients navigate their personal challenges and achieve emotional well-being.

Years in Practice
20 years
Posts
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