Emotions are universal among which anger is thought/said/seen to be one of the more powerful emotions. People generally describe anger to a bad emotion.  It can range from mild irritation to intense fury and rage. While it’s normal to feel angry at times, uncontrolled anger can lead to various problems in our personal and professional lives. 

Philosophical and Religious Texts often explore the moral and ethical dimensions of anger. They might describe anger as a destructive force that needs to be controlled or as a justified response to injustice, depending on the context and the teachings of the philosophy or religion.

In fiction, anger can be seen as a driving force for character development and plot progression. It’s often depicted through intense dialogue, physical reactions, and internal monologues.

Psychology and self-help practices tend to describe anger as a response to unmet needs or unresolved issues. They may offer insights into the root causes of anger and provide strategies for managing it constructively.

From my favourite book (The Mountain is you), which I believe gives a wholesome understanding of anger, “Anger is beautiful, transformative emotion. Anger shows us important aspects of who we are and what we care about”. The idea is that anger communicates more than what meets the eye; it reveals what truly matters to you. (You may get angry at your mother for oversharing information about your household to a third person- which says it’s important for you to be protective, keep things within family etc.).

“Anger is trying to mobilize us, to initiate action. When anger starts to cross over into Aggression- we take that energy on those around us”.  Rather than dismissing anger as a negative emotion, we can use it as a tool for self-reflection and growth.

Dissecting the emotion Anger:

Anger is often considered a secondary emotion, meaning that it can stem from underlying feelings such as hurt, fear, or frustration. When someone displays anger on the surface, it may be masking deeper emotions that they are not expressing or may not even be fully aware of themselves.  Understanding the underlying causes of anger can help people deal with their emotions more effectively and work toward deeper resolutions.

Let’s explore some strategies for managing anger and gaining a new perspective on this complex emotion:

Identify Triggers: Take stock of the things that trigger your anger. Whether it’s long lines, traffic jams, or frustrating situations, recognizing these triggers can help you respond more effectively.

Express Assertively: Expressing your angry feelings in an assertive (not aggressive) manner is healthy. Clearly communicate your needs without hurting others. Being assertive means respecting yourself and others.

Shift Perspective: Instead of dwelling on anger, focus on finding solutions to underlying issues or conflicts. Incorporate humor to diffuse tension and gain a fresh outlook.

Empathy: Try to see the situation from the other person’s perspective. Walking in their shoes can lead to a better understanding and less anger

Understanding How Anger works:

•           Trigger: Event or situation that provokes your anger. It could be something external- someone’s words or actions, or something internal- your thoughts or feelings.

•           Escalation: Anger builds up and intensifies. You start to have negative thoughts- blaming, judging, or exaggerating the situation. You also experience increased heart rate, blood pressure, muscle tension, and adrenaline.

•           Crisis: You lose control and act out your anger. You may yell, swear, slam doors, throw things, hit, or hurt yourself or others. You may also say or do things that you later regret.

•           Recovery: To calm down and regain your composure. You may feel exhausted, drained, guilty, ashamed, or embarrassed. You may also realize the consequences of your actions and feel remorseful or apologetic.

•           Post-crisis: You reflect on your anger and learn from it. You may try to understand what triggered your anger, and work on it.

You may also seek help or support from others, such as friends, family, counselors, or anger management programs.

What matters with Emotions?

 Understanding emotions is critical for navigating relationships and self-awareness. Emotions can be rational or irrational responses to triggers. How we respond to these triggers has a significant impact on our relationships with others and our own self-perception. Developing compassion can help us better manage our emotions and interact with others. Recognizing and acknowledging our emotions is essential for responding thoughtfully and constructively.

Triggers can evoke strong emotional responses that may not always align with the actual situation at hand. Irrational patterns of reaction can be influenced by past experiences, beliefs, and subconscious thought processes. These patterns may lead individuals to overreact or respond in ways that are disproportionate to the trigger itself. Can lead to verbal or physical outbursts, damage relationships and trust and so on.

Why do we react the way we react?

·       Emotional Response: Our emotional response to a trigger event can vary widely depending on our pastperiences, beliefs, and current state of mind. It could manifest as anger, sadness, fear, or joy.

·       Cognitive Appraisal: Before we respond emotionally, our brains quickly evaluate the situation based on our perceptions, beliefs, and interpretations. This appraisal influences the intensity and nature of our emotional response.

·       Behavioral Response: Following the emotional response, we often exhibit a behavioral response. This could involve actions such as lashing out, withdrawing, expressing our feelings, or seeking support.

·       Feedback Loop: The way we respond to our emotions can, in turn, influence our future emotional responses. For example, if we consistently respond to criticism with anger, it may reinforce that pattern in the future.

Reacting impulsively or emotionally to a trigger can often escalate the situation and lead to negative outcomes. By responding to a trigger in a rational manner, we can better assess the situation and choose the most appropriate course of action.

 How do I shift from Irrational to Rational patter?

·       At the moment: This may be difficult but over a practice you can master it, Pausing, gathering thoughts on what’s happening on both the ends (You and the Situation/person), and responding thoughtfully can improve clarity and composure in challenging situations.

·       Self-reflection and understanding our triggers can also help us develop better coping mechanisms and responses in the future.

·       Regulate emotions after identifying the trigger. This can be accomplished through deep breathing or any other method of releasing anger without causing harm to oneself or others.

·       Using I statements instead of jumping into conclusions, blaming, defending yourself because you feel attacked or shifting topics to past events, I feel ….. .

·       Reframing the triggering situation can be a helpful strategy. Examine the trigger from a different perspective and challenge negative thoughts.

·       Self-care: Engaging in self-care practices such as exercise, healthy eating, and sufficient sleep can also help in managing reactions to triggers.

·       Seeking professional help:  If your reactions to triggers are having a significant impact on your daily life and well-being, you should seek help from a mental health professional who can offer advice and support.