The Memoir of a Middle Child
As a middle child myself, I know firsthand how challenging it can be to find your place in the family dynamic. You always have to share the attention and love you receive from your parents, which can make you crave it constantly. Sometimes, this need for attention and love can transcend into other relationships too, especially romantic ones.
Have you ever wondered how being a middle child can shape your personality? Join me as we dive into the intriguing world of middle-child personalities. Research suggests that birth order can have a significant influence on one’s personality and behavior. The Australian psychologist Alfred Adler was the first to suggest that birth order can determine a few aspects of your personality.
He suggested that since the middle-born tend to mediate the conflicts between older and younger siblings, they often become the peacemakers of the family. Additionally, because they have to share the love and attention with other siblings, they might constantly look for it, inside as well as outside of the family.
To get attention and stand apart from other siblings, the middle child can often enter into a rebellious era. As a middle child, I am someone who has seen her fair share of rebellious phases. I was the first one in the family to get a tattoo, even though I knew it would not be well received. I also dyed my hair blue, even though I did not like the color.
Was it all just to get some attention? Probably, yes. Do I regret these decisions? Not so much. After all, every decision, including the bad ones, comes with a lesson—a lesson that helped me grow as an individual and improve my decision-making skills.
Now, the question arises: “Does this mean that being a middle child comes with an inherent package of shortcomings and disadvantages?" The answer is ‘no’. While the middle-born can struggle with various power and personality dynamics, it also makes them adaptable, independent, and diplomatic—a few qualities that come in handy as an adult.
Moreover, birth order is only one of the factors shaping one’s personality and attitude. There are a couple of other factors, including genetics, socioeconomic status, cultural influence, family dynamics and resources, and parenting styles, that can have an equally significant effect on a child.
