Living in New York City comes with plenty of obvious taxes—the sales tax, the city tax, the why-is-my-rent-higher-than-my-parents’-mortgage tax. But then there’s the sneaky tax no one warns you about: lifestyle creep.

One day, you’re splitting pitchers at a dive bar; the next, you’re dropping $22 on a martini that comes with rosemary ready for progragation. As a therapist and lifelong New Yorker, I’ve seen how this city has a way of stealthily upgrading your “needs.” And let me tell you, it’s not just your bank account taking the hit—your mental health gets caught in the crossfire too.

What Is Lifestyle Creep?

Lifestyle creep in New York doesn't politely knock—it crashes into your life like a cyclist ignoring a red light.  It happens when your spending gradually increases as your income grows—or sometimes, even when it doesn’t. One minute, you’re treating yourself to a $6 oat milk latte because “it's a lil' treat” and the next, your weekends are a blur of $25 rooftop cocktails, overpriced brunches, and workout classes that somehow cost more than your Con Ed bill. And somehow, it all starts to feel reasonable.

But here's the reality: you don't have to keep playing this game. Living in New York doesn’t mean draining your bank account just to feel like you belong. Maybe that means being the friend who suggests dollar slices and a walk on the High Line instead of yet another overpriced brunch at Bubby’s. Maybe it’s turning Happy Hour into the main event instead of the pregame.Or maybe it’s learning to be more comfortable with saying, "nah" when your group chat starts planning another $100-per-person dinner "because it's ~WeDneSdAy.~"

Rethinking the “New York Experience” 

Redefining what it means to enjoy the city doesn’t mean missing out—it just means being intentional. Some of the best stuff about New York don’t come with a price tag at all: people-watching in Washington Square, catching a free movie on Randall's Island, or walking across the Brooklyn Bridge at sunset. (Checkout the calendar on my website for free events!)  The real flex isn’t keeping up with everyone else’s spending habits—it’s figuring out what actually brings you joy.

If lifestyle creep has already crept a little too far, don’t stress—you don’t have to make drastic changes overnight. Start small and focus on recalibrating, not restricting. Try swapping a couple of expensive weekend plans for a more budget-friendly The idea isn’t to deprive yourself but to be more intentional with your choices. If something genuinely enhances your life and adds value, keep it! But take a moment to evaluate whether you’re spending out of habit, FOMO, or the unspoken pressure to "keep up" with the crowd. If that's the case, it might be worth reconsidering where your money's going.

Living in New York isn’t about proving you belong or following some Sex in the City fever dream. It’s about finding the version of this city that feels like home to you. There’s no one right way to experience this place, and part of living here authentically means making decisions that align with your values and what truly brings you joy. It's your life -- shape it with intention!