How do you react when you don't succeed at achieving your goals? Or when things don't turn out the way you wanted them to and you are struggling? Do you wallow in self-pity, lose confidence and say negative things about yourself? Or are you supportive and forgiving?

The majority of people when faced with adversity, end up being too harsh on themselves. We so often find ourselves talking about our shortcomings and failures, about the aspects of self we don't like, and about how we wish we were better than others. But, how often do we say kind things about ourselves, celebrate our strengths, and be compassionate in times of suffering. In order to flourish and achieve self-transcendence, it is of utmost importance to show ourselves the same degree of acceptance, love and kindness we show to others. Here are some of the techniques one can practice to inculcate self-compassion-

• How do you treat a friend?- Reflect back on a time when your friend was struggling and de-motivated. What was your response? Write it down. What were the things you said and tonality in which you said it. Now, remember a time when you were struggling and note down your reaction. Were you also supportive for yourself? Did you say things along the similar lines to motivate yourself? If not, then introspect and think about the factors which made you treat yourself differently. Pen down how things might change if you responded in a similar manner when facing a challenge.
• Writing yourself permission slips- Give yourself permission for things that you enjoy once in a while. Make permission slips (example -"sleep extra 10 minutes today", "eat a cookie", "take a day off") for things you enjoy but feel guilty to indulge in. Use these slips occasionally and shower yourself with love.
• Positive self-talk- What we say to ourselves has a huge impact on emotions and behavior. Numerous studies have demonstrated the positive impact of self-talk. We often find negative automatic thoughts creeping into our heads. Stop these thoughts the moment they appear and replace them with positive talk. Say to yourself "This is a difficult time. I am struggling. We all struggle in our lives. May I be kind to myself."
• Compassion color- If you are a visual person, then this exercise is for you. Sit in a comfortable position and take few deep breaths. Once you are relaxed, think of a color that you associate with kindness (example- green) and imagine being surrounded by it. Imagine your body filled with this color, giving you strength and compassion.
• Visualizing a safe place- If you are looking for a moment of peace in chaos, then try this exercise. Sit comfortably in quite place and take deep breaths. Imagine a place which is your safe haven. It can be a beautiful sunny day on a beach or hilly area. Visualize it vividly and focus on all senses- what you see, hear, feel and smell.