How do you respond when your partner breaks an exciting news to you? Do you become as excited as they are and join in the celebration? or do you just listen half-heartedly and dampen the mood? Communication is a crucial element of every relationship. How one listens and responds to one's partner can be a determining factor, either strengthening the relationship or leading to its demise. Researchers have identified four responding styles, commonly seen in relationships. Let us examine these responding styles with an example and evaluate their impact. Let us say Susie, who has been trying hard for the past few months to get a job, comes back home all excited and breaks the news to her husband Josh that she has landed a great job opportunity. How Josh reacts will fall under one of the four responding styles.

• Active Constructive- In this responding style, the partner listens attentively, maintains eye contact, and expresses genuine enthusiasm and support. If Josh were to respond this way, he would probably say "Congratulations! I am so happy and excited for you. Tell me all about it and this calls for a celebration". He would give her his undivided attention and express enthusiasm. This is a healthy way of responding and leads to positive emotions. Susie would feel more joyful on seeing the reaction. 
•  Active Destructive - In this responding style, the partner acts dismissively, steals the conversation, or points out the negatives. If Josh were to react this way, he would say "Oh. But what about the children? How will we manage things?"  The partner right away points out the challenges, instead of discussing them later at an appropriate time. This would lead to discontentment and dampen the emotional state of Susie. She would not feel supported. 
• Passive Constructive- In this responding style, the partner reacts with low energy, exhibiting understated support. Let us assume Josh was on his laptop and if he were to respond in a passive constructive manner, he would not leave his work and without maintaining eye contact he would say "oh okay. Good for you." He would not seem excited.
• Passive Destructive- The partner ignores the event and acts disinterested. Josh would keep working on laptop and give no indication that he is interested in knowing about it. Susie would be disheartened and hesitant to share news in the future. 

Active Constructive is the healthiest way to respond in relationships. It elicits positive emotions, and trust and strengthens the connection. If one is trying to respond in an active constructive manner, one should always maintain eye contact with one partner, give their undivided attention, and ask questions such as "tell me all about it, where were you when you got the news?, how did you feel in that moment?, how did the interviewer break the news?". Questions such as these take the partner back to the happy moment and enhance their happiness levels.