How does divorce affect the emotional development of a child?
Divorce is a very difficult time for the whole family at both ends. When parents get divorced, the effects of divorce on children vary with different people. Each child reacts to divorce in a natural and understanding way whereas others may struggle with the transition of life. Since the children in a divorce vary (different environments, families, temperaments, ages), the effects of divorce on children vary, too. The fact is that divorce does impact kids, sometimes even in ways you wouldn’t quite expect. But it isn’t all doom and gloom.
The child gets emotionally broken in many ways which can be seen through different actions/behaviours like:
- They may withdraw socially and become quite shy or anxious. More or less, they may seem uninterested or fearful of social situations, like hanging out with friends or even attending school events. Low self-esteem and self-image are associated with both divorce and social withdrawal, so boosting your child’s confidence may help them come out of their shell again.
- Children may feel angry about divorce or even question themselves like “Why with them only this happened?”. Their whole world is changing due to one major decision of parents. Anger can come out at any age after the realization and awareness. These emotions may arise from feelings of abandonment or loss of control. Anger can even be directed inward as some kind of self-blame for their parents’ divorce.
- Some may have symptoms of separation anxiety like increased crying or clinginess. Obviously, due to the importance of developmental milestones of their life, they may tend to feel more anxiety due to broken bonds with their parents. However, older kids may ask for the other parent when they’re not seen around but the younger toddlers can’t express it.
- The pattern of sleep, eating and behaviour will get disrupted due to a rollercoaster of different emotions and feelings running over.
- Extreme cases are such that kids can go into depression, engage in risky behaviour, etc. It’s very necessary to help your child the same time to cope with the situation and shouldn’t be ignored.
Tips to help your child to cope with the situation:
- Encourage your child to speak to you freely on this topic. Explain to them that it is you’re a safe place to share anything. More importantly, listen to them and see what they have to say.
- Understand that all kid's processes vary. So, pay attention to any acting out or cues you get.
- Seek help if you feel you aren’t able to handle it. This can be in any form such as your own family and friends. But if your child is starting to display some warning signs, go to a mental health professional or therapist.
- Be kind to yourself. It’s perfectly fine to show emotions in front of your kids. Showing your own emotions will likely help your children open up about their own as well.
08 March 2024
