Surviving Migratory Grief
Whether it's for adventure or due to having no other choice, migration is a complex process that involves leaving behind family, friends, and customs to start a new life in another country. Although this process may seem easy, migratory grief is a complex psychological phenomenon that entails first and foremost a loss, followed by a pressing need to adapt to the new reality.
The so-called "culture shock" is felt deeply. Hispanic cultures, for example, are very different from Anglo-Saxon cultures. In my practice, I often hear my patients nostalgically recalling the climate, language, or customs of their home countries. Longing for the sun during the winter, having traded their sun-drenched countries for cold and dark winters, is a recurring theme. Migration is often compounded by language barriers, distance from family and friends, and the adaptation to a different culture.
Migratory grief is a process that the Colombian Montoya Carrasquilla describes as "the roller coaster" of grief. These are the moments of ups and downs experienced, where the good moments are characterized by phases of happiness and feelings of achievement, while the bad moments are lived with intense discomfort and anguish, often triggered by memories and significant dates such as birthdays or holidays. As an immigrant myself, I can attest to the reality of these "roller coaster" feelings. The sweet sensation that arises when your dreams come true is simultaneously embittered by the inability to share them with your loved ones, to embrace them.
It's important to keep in mind, for expatriates, that migratory grief will happen. It can be a simple migratory grief, where the migrant is welcomed, and all their needs can be met without problems (housing, social inclusion, work), or it can be complex, as is the case in most instances, where social inclusion is often one of the biggest obstacles, which, combined with the migrant's own characteristics, make it difficult to process the loss of the home country. Seeking help and support in these cases is very important because if not addressed in time, it can lead to what is called the Ulysses Syndrome, characterized by chronic and multiple stress manifested by crying, insomnia, excessive and recurrent worries, tension, nervousness, etc.
It's true that every person is different, but one thing is certain: migratory grief is a common experience among those who venture to distant lands in search of new opportunities. Protecting your mental health should be your priority. With the right support, migrants can find the strength to overcome challenges and build a satisfying life in their new home.
