It’s tough being a parent. It takes a lot of energy, and often from the minute you hear the urgent cry of a new born baby, you feel confused and clueless. I know when I took my first child home from hospital, a gorgeous little girl with ten fingers and toes, a little Pekinese nose, and penetrating blue eyes, I was terrified. Her total survival depended on me! No-one teaches us how to be a parent. There are no courses offered at school or university and we grow up helter-skelter learning from our own parents, other people’s parents and from how we are treated by other carers and leaders in our lives, like our teachers. What would it be like for you to have a connection with your child that feels smooth flowing, where even conflict is resolved so that both sparring partners, you and them, feel like you are a winner, and the solution is easy to implement. How would you like to engage with ways of parenting that bring hope from hurt, and results in a confident child, well mannered, creative, energetic and who has a clear sense of their own identity?

It’s tough being a parent. It takes a lot of energy, and often from the minute you hear the urgent cry of a new born baby, you feel confused and clueless. I know when I took my first child home from hospital, a gorgeous little girl with ten fingers and toes, a little Pekinese nose, and penetrating blue eyes, I was terrified. Her total survival depended on me!

Isn’t it uncanny that out children know exactly which buttons to push. If we feel uncertain, they test the boundaries; if we are afraid of being abandoned, they are super independent, and if we are afraid of angry shouts their temper tantrums are like tornadoes.

No-one teaches us how to be a parent. There are no courses offered at school or university and we grow up helter-skelter learning from our own parents, other people’s parents and from how we are treated by other carers and leaders in our lives, like our teachers. Ever been told you are an idiot or selfish, and feeling a sense of shame we swear we will never do that to our children! Ever been hit by a parent because you pulled your little sister’s hair or knocked over a frothy cup of hot cholate on their cream carpet? Mortified by the strike on the side of your head, that fills you with anger and revenge, you offer an oath to never do that to your child?

What would it be like to have a connection with your child that feels smooth flowing, where even conflict is resolved so that both sparring partners, you and them, feel like you are a winner, and the solution is easy to implement. How would your child like to honour you in front of their friends by saying, I love hanging out with my mom she really gets me, I can talk to her about anything; or yesterday I spent the morning fishing with my dad, we had to be quiet most of the time, but the odd moments when we shared jokes, my belly ached I laughed so much. We are going fishing again next week, and in a month’s time – I can’t wait – we are going to spend a whole weekend camping on the side of a river.

What would you say are the biggest challenge you are experiencing with your youngster right now. Over the next few weeks, I would like to share some amazing, advanced parenting skills from an author who has sold millions of books on the topic over 50 years, whose principles and processes stand the test of time.. The good news is that these ways of communicating brings happiness, intimacy and creativity into  any important relationship that matters to you.