Harmful Habits: The Things We Do That Slowly Affect Our Wellbeing

Not all harmful habits are easy to recognize. Some are visible, such as excessive drinking, smoking, poor sleep, or unhealthy eating. Others happen quietly in our minds—negative thinking, overthinking, constantly comparing ourselves with others, holding on to anger, or repeatedly telling ourselves that we are not good enough.

The important thing to remember is that a habit does not have to look dramatic to affect our wellbeing. When something is repeated often, it can gradually influence our thoughts, emotions, relationships, physical health, and overall quality of life.

1. Excessive Drinking and Substance Use

Alcohol or other substances may sometimes be used as a way to relax, escape stress, socialize, or avoid difficult emotions. The concern begins when the behaviour becomes a regular way of coping.

A simple question to ask yourself is:

“Am I using this because I enjoy it, or because I don't want to deal with how I feel?”

Recognizing the reason behind the behaviour can be an important first step toward change.

2. Negative Thinking

Our minds naturally notice problems and threats. However, constantly expecting the worst can become a pattern.

Thoughts such as:

• “Nothing ever works for me.”
• “I am not good enough.”
• “Everyone is judging me.”
• “Something bad will happen.”
• “There is no point in trying.”

can become automatic over time.

A useful approach is not to fight every negative thought, but to question it.

Instead of asking, “Why am I like this?”, try:

“Is this thought completely true, or is my mind looking at only one side of the situation?”

3. Overthinking

Thinking helps us solve problems. Overthinking often keeps us stuck in the same problem.

We replay conversations, imagine future situations, analyze someone's message, or keep asking, “What if?”

Sometimes the brain needs a decision—not another meeting with itself!

When you notice overthinking, ask:

“Is there something I can do about this right now?”

• If yes, take one small action.
• If no, give yourself permission to pause and return to it later.

4. Constant Comparison

Social media can make comparison especially easy. We see someone's achievements, relationships, holidays, appearance, or career—but rarely see the struggles behind the picture.

Comparing your real life with someone else's highlight reel is rarely fair.

A healthier question is:

“Am I making progress compared with where I was before?”

5. Suppressing Emotions

Always saying “I'm fine” does not necessarily mean we are fine.

Ignoring sadness, anger, disappointment, fear, or frustration does not make those emotions disappear. They may instead come out through irritability, withdrawal, poor sleep, unhealthy coping, or problems in relationships.

Emotional strength is not about never feeling difficult emotions. It is about learning how to recognize, express, and manage them appropriately.

6. Unhealthy Sleep and Lifestyle Patterns

Late nights, excessive screen time, irregular meals, lack of physical activity, and constantly being connected can gradually affect our energy and emotional balance.

Small changes can make a difference:

Sleep better. Move your body. Eat regularly. Take breaks. Spend some time away from screens.

These may sound simple, but simple habits repeated consistently can have a meaningful impact.

7. Holding on to Anger and Resentment

Anger is a normal emotion. Holding on to anger for a long time, however, can become exhausting.

Forgiveness does not necessarily mean saying that someone's behaviour was acceptable. Sometimes forgiveness simply means deciding that you do not want to keep carrying the emotional weight of the experience.

8. Negative Self-Talk

We often speak to ourselves in ways we would never speak to a friend.

If a friend made a mistake, we might say:

“It's okay. Learn from it and try again.”

But when we make the same mistake, we may say:

“I'm useless. I always mess things up.”

Try bringing the same kindness to yourself that you would offer someone you care about.

The First Step Is Awareness

Changing harmful habits does not usually happen overnight. The first step is noticing the pattern without judging yourself.

Ask yourself:

• What am I doing repeatedly?
• What emotion or situation triggers it?
• What do I get from this habit in the short term?
• How does it affect me in the long term?
• What healthier behaviour could I try instead?

Change becomes easier when we replace a harmful habit with a healthier alternative rather than simply trying to “stop” something.

A Simple Reminder

Notice → Understand → Pause → Choose → Repeat

You do not have to change your entire life in one day. Sometimes one healthier choice, repeated consistently, can become the beginning of a completely different pattern.

Your habits influence your life—but your habits are not your identity. They can be understood, changed, and replaced with behaviours that support your physical, emotional, and mental wellbeing.

And if a habit feels difficult to control—particularly alcohol or substance use—seeking professional support is not a weakness. It can be a practical and courageous step toward change.

— Dr. Sameer Adtani
Mental Wellness & Behavioral Wellbeing