You get upset over something small.

You become excited and suddenly feel way too excited.

Someone says something that hurts you, and you can't stop thinking about it.

Maybe you cry easily. Maybe you get angry quickly. Maybe you feel everything very deeply.

And then someone tells you:

• “You're being too sensitive.”
• “Why are you making such a big deal out of this?”
• “Calm down.”

So you start wondering:

“Maybe my emotions really are too much.”

You begin hiding your excitement, swallowing your anger, holding back your tears, and trying to make yourself feel less.

This is where Turning Red becomes surprisingly relatable.

Mei doesn't just have to deal with becoming a red panda. She has to figure out what to do with emotions that suddenly feel bigger and harder to control.

And honestly, don't we all have moments like that?

Why Do Some Emotions Feel So Big?

Emotions aren't simply something we choose to have.

They are responses to what we experience, interpret, remember, and need.

The same situation can affect two people completely differently. Something that feels small to one person may feel deeply upsetting to another.

And sometimes, emotions become stronger when we've already been carrying other things.

A disappointing message might not be just a disappointing message.

It might come after a difficult week, an argument, lack of sleep, pressure at work or school, or feeling misunderstood for a long time.

So when you suddenly feel overwhelmed, it doesn't necessarily mean you're “too emotional.”

It may mean that something inside you needs attention.

When We Start Fighting Our Own Emotions

The problem isn't having strong emotions.

The problem can begin when we start believing that certain emotions shouldn't exist.

We think:

• “I shouldn't be this angry.”
• “I shouldn't still be upset.”
• “I'm being dramatic.”
• “Other people handle this better than me.”

Instead of understanding the emotion, we immediately judge ourselves for having it.

Research on emotion regulation suggests that trying to suppress emotions isn't always the most helpful way of managing them. Learning to recognize, understand, and respond to emotions more flexibly can be more useful.

What Can You Do When Your Emotions Feel “Too Much”?

Pause before judging the emotion

When you feel overwhelmed, don't immediately ask:

“What's wrong with me?”

Try:

“What am I feeling right now?”

Naming the emotion can help you understand what is happening instead of immediately reacting to it.

You might discover that what looks like anger is actually hurt.

What looks like irritation may actually be exhaustion.

What looks like overreaction may actually be fear.

Give the emotion a little space

You don't have to act on every emotion.

You can feel angry without sending an angry message.

You can feel anxious without immediately assuming the worst.

You can feel sad without forcing yourself to become cheerful.

Try taking a few slow breaths, stepping away from the situation for a moment, writing down what you're feeling, or simply giving yourself some quiet time.

Feeling an emotion and acting on it are two different things.

Ask what the emotion is telling you

Instead of trying to get rid of the emotion, become curious about it.

Ask:

• “What happened?”
• “Why did this affect me so much?”
• “What do I need right now?”

Sometimes an emotion is pointing towards a need — rest, reassurance, connection, a boundary, support, or simply the opportunity to be heard.

Talk to yourself differently

Imagine your best friend came to you crying and said:

“I don't know why I'm feeling this way.”

Would you tell them:

“Stop being so dramatic.”

Probably not.

You'd probably listen.

Try offering yourself the same kindness.

You don't have to agree with every emotion to treat yourself kindly while experiencing it.

Questions You Might Be Asking

“Does having strong emotions mean I'm emotionally unstable?”

No.

Having strong emotions doesn't automatically mean something is wrong with you. Emotional health isn't about feeling everything at a low intensity. It's about learning to recognize emotions and respond to them in ways that are helpful rather than harmful.

“What if I really am overreacting?”

Sometimes our reactions may be stronger than the situation requires — and that's okay to notice.

Instead of criticizing yourself, become curious:

“What made this feel so big for me?”

That question can teach you much more than “Why am I like this?”

“Should I control my emotions?”

Rather than trying to control every emotion, think about regulating it.

You may not be able to choose what you feel immediately.

But you can learn to choose what you do with that feeling.

Maybe Your Emotions Aren't “Too Much”

Maybe you've just never been taught what to do with them.

You don't need to become less emotional to become emotionally healthy.

You need to become more comfortable understanding what you're feeling, why you're feeling it, and how you want to respond.

Because emotions aren't enemies that need to be defeated.

They're information.

And sometimes, the emotion you've been trying hardest to silence is the one asking you to pay attention.

You don't have to become smaller just because your feelings feel big.

References

• Gross, J. J. (1998). The emerging field of emotion regulation: An integrative review. Review of General Psychology, 2(3), 271–299.
• Gross, J. J., & John, O. P. (2003). Individual differences in two emotion regulation processes. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 85(2), 348–362.
• Aldao, A., Nolen-Hoeksema, S., & Schweizer, S. (2010). Emotion-regulation strategies across psychopathology: A meta-analytic review. Clinical Psychology Review, 30(2), 217–237.
• Neff, K. D. (2003). Self-compassion: An alternative conceptualization of a healthy attitude toward oneself. Self and Identity, 2(2), 85–101.