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Dynamics of a Devorced Women

So here's a little back story .. how does one understand hear and create a genuine connection with a devorced women with 3 kids and a already full life..  Recently i met a kind soul shes a nurse and we crossed paths , very easy too talk too , energy chemistry and physical touch is on point . We have been intimate and have hungout and i feel like she got too comfortable too quickly that she scared herself. It happens but i told her that one thing forsure was that she would always be safe when around me .  However the fear of it feeling so good or feeling like its being rushed has left her pulling back and has communicated that a pace much slower is what she needs rite now.. I do understand her point of view absolutely.. However i am not here too fix her or resolve issues that rest upon her.. I believe in healing/growinf. together helps create a solid foundation. I have no expectations nor will i set any . My question is this how do I maintain a no pressure pace while trying to create a genuine connection with natural growth..  Or am i just setting myself up for complete failure ? I like setting goals but achieable ones

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Vicks M
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44621 Thriveni Muthuvelu
Counseling Psychologist, Marriage & Family Therapist and Psych... Show more
Thriveni M
Counseling Psychologist, Marriage & Family Therapist and Psych... Show more
T
Counseling Psychologist, Marriage & Family Therapist and Psych... Show more

From what you've shared, it sounds like you're approaching this relationship with empathy, patience, and respect, which is a strong foundation.

A divorced woman with three children often carries multiple responsibilities and life experiences that can make emotional vulnerability feel both comforting and frightening. If the connection feels genuine, it's not unusual for someone to pull back after becoming emotionally or physically close. This doesn't necessarily mean she has lost interest—it may simply mean she's trying to regain a sense of emotional safety and control.

The healthiest way to build a genuine connection is to match the pace she has communicated. Continue showing consistency rather than intensity. Let your actions demonstrate that you respect her boundaries. Small, dependable gestures, honest conversations, and giving her space without disappearing can create trust over time.

It's also important to remember that healing cannot be rushed or done for someone else. While relationships can certainly support growth, each person is ultimately responsible for their own healing. Your role is to be emotionally available, not to become her therapist or rescuer.

At the same time, don't lose sight of your own emotional needs. Patience is healthy, but waiting indefinitely without clarity isn't. As the relationship develops, it's okay to periodically check in about whether you're both moving in the same direction.

So, are you setting yourself up for failure? Not necessarily. You're only setting yourself up for disappointment if you begin sacrificing your own needs, ignore mixed signals, or keep waiting without mutual effort. A healthy relationship grows through consistent effort from both people—not pressure from one.

For now, focus less on achieving relationship milestones and more on building emotional safety, trust, and authenticity. If the connection is meant to grow, it will do so at a pace that feels secure for both of you.

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