25 January 2026 00:48

Difference between these emotions

I have undiagnosed OCD since childhood and it has evolved into different themes over time. I'm 19 now!

Lately it has been revolving around sexuality and emotions. I don't feel sexually attracted to men in the sense where i look at one and think i want to sleep with him bcz i find intimacy of that sort very haunting given I'm extremely young and also single since birth. But i do find boys beautiful after i hit puberty and also thought 'I'll definitely marry someone with these looks' or fantasize about being romantic with etc without anything vulgar. I tend to think I'm romantically interested in men bcz i feel really dainty and shy around them and craves to be respected by them.

On the other hand i find many women highly gorgeous as well and i tend to get very intimidated by pretty girls, always worry about my appearance in front of them that maybe i look messy and craves friendship with the IT friend group of the institute of social media platform. I get extremely happy when i get attention from girls in those groups.

I just want to know how is craving friendship with girls and feeling flattered and validated by compliments from them different from romantic attraction? I don't feel envious by women and have a high empathy so i tend to always am very generously kind with them just so that i don't hurt anyone's feelings. This much self consciousness combined with OCD is making me ask, how is it not romantic and i just don't know.

Rose Lips

Member

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