The Silence Between Words; Why emotional abuse needs a Voice in our legal system
In the Quiet corners of family rooms and counseling rooms, storis often unfold not through bruises, but through silence. A silence where control, humiliation, and fear live- unspoken, undocumented and yet deeply scarring. As a counseling psychologist, navigating through individual's emotions, I have seen how invisible violence often leaves the deepest cuts. I often meet people who carry wounds no one can see. Not from physical violence, but from years of emotional abuse, silence, gaslighting, and quiet and subtle forms of control. These aren’t the kind of stories that scream for attention—they whisper, hesitantly, through trembling voices in counseling rooms. And yet, they weigh just as heavy.
What hurts more is how our legal systems still struggle to recognize this pain. Our legal system is evolving—but it still listens more to what is visible. Emotional abuse, gaslighting, passive-aggression, and coercive control continue to fall between the cracks. In the absence of a court-monitored communication system, many find themselves trapped in toxic digital dialogues—texts used to shame, silence, or psychologically destabilize. A simple app, if monitored and regulated, could prevent threats from being sent at midnight, stop subtle manipulations masked as care, and protect those whose minds are still recovering from relational warfare, which could protect both dignity and evidence. It’s time we started listening not just to what’s said out loud, but to what’s endured in silence. Because emotional abuse is not invisible—it’s just unheard.
But beyond tech, what we need most is a human system that believes in psychological wounds. Tools already exist—validated questionnaires that measure psychological maltreatment, emotional neglect, trauma bonding, and helplessness. Yet they are rarely used where they are needed most: in legal decisions about safety, custody, and protection. My research journey is not just academic—it is a plea. A plea to recognize emotional abuse as not a “softer” crime, but a profound injustice. A plea to legal systems to integrate the wisdom of psychology not as an afterthought, but as a foundation. And a plea to give those silenced by mental cruelty a structured way to speak.
In every courtroom, there are words spoken. But there are also the words that were never allowed to be spoken at home. My work—and the work of many others in this field—is to make space for those voices.
Because healing doesn’t begin with evidence. It begins with being heard.