The Difference Between Loneliness and Solitude
What is the difference between Solitude and Loneliness?
It’s a question I often hear in my sessions with clients. Many people confuse these two words, thinking they mean the same thing. However, they have two very different meanings.
Solitude (being alone):
This is a voluntary, temporary, and desirable choice to spend time alone—often to recharge, think creatively, develop personal insight, or step back from society for your own growth. We have full control over this choice. People can enjoy solitude as an opportunity for renewal, self-awareness, or simply as time away from the outside world, without the need for social interaction. Solitude is positive and rejuvenating.
Loneliness:
This refers to the feeling of isolation, emptiness, or rejection that arises when you sense a lack of social connection and meaningful relationships—as if you are cut off from others. Loneliness is usually viewed negatively and can trigger emotions such as sadness, rejection, isolation, anger, or despair. It’s a negative state of mind that follows you wherever you go and whoever you’re with. You don’t control it. You can be in a room with 100 people and still feel lonely.
It’s important to remember that loneliness is a condition that can be managed and improved with the right guidance and support.
Summary of Differences
In summary, solitude is the desired choice to be alone for restoration or personal growth, while loneliness is the negative feeling of disconnection and rejection that follows the person wherever they are.
- Loneliness is an emotion born from your own negative thoughts.
- Solitude is a conscious choice that involves either relaxation or action.
- Loneliness mostly stems from our need to feel accepted and to belong.
In Abraham Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs, it represents the third basic human need, following survival and safety.
The Five Basic Human Needs:
- Physical Needs/Survival
- Safety / Security
- Love / Connection
- Ambition / Self-Confidence
- Fulfillment / Self-Actualization
Steps to Stop Feeling Lonely
- The first step to stop feeling lonely—that is, to stop choosing to view your life negatively—is to love yourself.
- The second step is not to isolate yourself from others, but to make a conscious effort to participate and live in the moment. To experience the present, it helps if you engage all your senses—what you see, hear, smell, taste, and touch. This helps you ground yourself in the present rather than revisiting the past (often negatively) or projecting into the future (again negatively).
- The third step is to connect with nature. Nature is always a balm for many of our emotional states. A walk in nature, with the intention to focus on the beauty around you, helps release “positive” hormones, such as dopamine, serotonin, oxytocin, and endorphins which make you feel better.
- The fourth step is to adopt a pet, either a cat or a dog. Adopting a pet, whether a cat or a dog, can be a wonderful remedy for loneliness. Pets offer unconditional love, companionship, and a comforting presence that fills empty spaces in daily life. Their playful energy or quiet affection helps ease feelings of isolation and brings routine, purpose, and warmth to the home. Caring for a pet encourages responsibility and connection — and the simple act of stroking a cat’s fur or walking a dog can reduce stress and lift your mood. In many ways, a pet becomes both a loyal friend and a source of emotional healing.
- The fifth step is to find activities you enjoy and actively participate in organized groups with others who share similar interests or values—or interests and skills you’d like to develop. Activities such as any form of art (painting, mosaics, music, writing, pottery, etc.), sports, or dance. Learning something new helps us stay focused on the present and creates new neural pathways in our brain.
- The sixth step is to include philanthropy and volunteering in your life. Volunteering helps us shift our focus away from self-centeredness and toward offering help and compassion to others.
Embrace your life with love and confidence. You can do it!
About Life Coaching
Life coaching is more than solving problems—it’s about unlocking your true potential. It helps you face life’s challenges with strength, while bringing out the very best in yourself, so you can move forward with clarity, confidence, and pride. The journey begins with learning, then gradually applying and practicing new ways of thinking and living. By cultivating Emotional Intelligence (EQ), you gain the ability to respond to challenges with balance and effectiveness. Step by step, you build new strategies for navigating both everyday demands and life’s bigger transitions.
Real change is possible for anyone—what it requires is the desire to change and grow and the commitment to take consistent, steady steps forward.
Annie Pattichi is a Transformational Life Coach with an MA in Clinical Psychology. She’s also a Clinical Hypnotherapist & Trainer, and an Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) and Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) master practitioner. She works both with individuals and groups to help them connect with their inner wisdom and take full ownership of their lives. Annie is a regular guest on television and radio, and writes the Life Coach column for the Phileleftheros and In-Cyprus newspapers. She also leads weekly self-awareness and personal development classes at the Open School of Strovolos Municipality.