Do You Know How to Control Yourself in Social Situations? The Social Self-Control Test
Social life can be compared to a dance: sometimes you need to follow the rhythm of the group, and other times you need to stick to your own steps. The concept of how people navigate these situations was extensively studied by psychologist Mark Snyder, who developed the Self-Monitoring Scale. This psychological tool assesses how well you manage and adapt your behavior in the presence of others—whether you easily adjust to the situation, consistently stand your ground, or look to others for cues on how to act. I’ve created a simplified version of this test so you can take it quickly and learn something about yourself. It’s short, straightforward, and suitable for everyone, regardless of background or education.
Here is how it works: you will be presented with 10 statements about your behavior in social situations. For each one, choose "Yes" (if you generally agree), "No" (if you generally disagree), or "Not sure" (if you feel you are in the middle). Please answer honestly for the most accurate result—it will only take a couple of minutes. At the end, I’ll explain how to score the test and what your results mean. Ready? Let’s begin!
The Social Self-Monitoring Test
- I often change my behavior to fit the situation or the people around me.
- a) Yes
- b) No
- c) Not sure
- I always say what I think, even if it might offend someone.
- a) Yes
- b) No
- c) Not sure
- I can easily pretend to enjoy a conversation, even if I’m bored.
- a) Yes
- b) No
- c) Not sure
- I often look to others to figure out how to behave in an unfamiliar situation.
- a) Yes
- b) No
- c) Not sure
- I always stand up for my ideas, even if others don’t like them.
- a) Yes
- b) No
- c) Not sure
- I can hide my true feelings if the situation calls for it.
- a) Yes
- b) No
- c) Not sure
- It’s hard for me to adapt my behavior to a new group or situation.
- a) Yes
- b) No
- c) Not sure
- I often say what people want to hear, rather than what I really think.
- a) Yes
- b) No
- c) Not sure
- I feel most confident and comfortable when I act in a way that is true to myself, not how others expect me to act.
- a) Yes
- b) No
- c) Not sure
- I enjoy being the center of attention and entertaining others.
- a) Yes
- b) No
- c) Not sure
How to Score Your Results
Calculate your points using this system:
- For each "Yes" on questions 1, 3, 4, 6, 8, 10 – give yourself 2 points.
- For each "Yes" on questions 2, 5, 7, 9 – give yourself 0 points.
- For each "No" on questions 1, 3, 4, 6, 8, 10 – give yourself 0 points.
- For each "No" on questions 2, 5, 7, 9 – give yourself 2 points.
- For each "Not sure" on any question – give yourself 1 point.
Add up all your points. The maximum possible score is 20, and the minimum is 0.
What Your Score Means
0–6 points: Low Self-Monitoring
You are a person who is principled and straightforward. You tend to say what you think and act in a way that feels natural and authentic to you, without worrying excessively about others’ expectations. This means your behavior is a direct reflection of your inner feelings and values. This authenticity is a great strength, making you appear genuine and consistent. However, it might sometimes complicate communication in situations that call for a high degree of social tact or diplomacy. You value your individuality above all else, and that is a powerful trait!
7–13 points: Moderate Self-Monitoring
You know how to strike a healthy balance. You are capable of adapting to the situation or the people around you when necessary, but you do not lose sight of who you are. You can be diplomatic and sensitive to social cues, but you are not afraid to share your true opinion when it matters. This flexible, middle-ground approach helps you navigate a wide variety of social situations effectively, making you both relatable and reliable. You are socially astute while remaining grounded in your core values.
14–20 points: High Self-Monitoring
You are a master of social adaptation. Psychologists sometimes refer to high self-monitors as "social chameleons" because of their ability to easily adjust their words and behavior to suit different people and situations. This skill allows you to achieve social goals, avoid conflict, and make others feel comfortable. It makes you an excellent conversationalist and diplomat. The only potential downside is that at times, you might feel like you are losing touch with your true self or that others don't know the "real" you.
What to Do with This?
This test is not about determining what is "better" or "worse." Both high and low self-monitoring have distinct advantages and disadvantages. A low self-monitor is often seen as wonderfully genuine, while a high self-monitor is seen as flexible and socially skilled. This is simply a tool to help you better understand your tendencies in social settings.
If you wish to boost your social adaptability, try to pay close attention to social cues and others’ reactions, and experiment with different communication styles. If you want to be more open and direct, practice expressing your genuine opinion more often, even if it feels a bit scary at first. We hope you found this exploration of your social self interesting!
References
- Snyder, M. (1974). Self-monitoring of expressive behavior. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 30(4), 526–537.
This is the seminal academic paper by Mark Snyder that introduced the concept of self-monitoring to psychology. It laid the groundwork for decades of research into how people control their expressive behaviors in social contexts.