The Test That Explains Why You're Truly Jealous

We often confuse jealousy with love, seeing its intense grip as a measure of deep affection. But what if jealousy isn't about love at all? What if, instead, it's a mirror reflecting our own insecurities, our fear of loss, and a deep-seated feeling of being unworthy? Jealousy can be the fear of losing a partner, which triggers a painful sense of being worthless, unneeded, and rejected. It's less a testament to our love for another and more a projection of our own internal struggles.

The following self-assessment is designed to explore the connection between your level of jealousy and your self-confidence. The only condition for a true reflection is absolute honesty. This means choosing the answers that genuinely represent your feelings in a given situation, not the ones you wish were true. Take a moment to reflect and answer each question before tallying your score to see what it reveals.

The Self-Assessment

1. How do you feel about jealousy?

   • 1 point: Jealousy is a destructive feeling.
   • 2 points: To be jealous is to be loved, and my jealousy is a sign of my love.
   • 3 points: How can one not be jealous? This person belongs only to me, and I can't stand the thought of them talking to someone else or even being looked at by another.

2. How often do you read your partner's messages on their phone or social media?

   • 1 point: I never do that.
   • 2 points: I sometimes read them secretly if I have suspicions.
   • 3 points: I constantly monitor my partner's correspondence and get offended when they hide their passwords from me.

3. How do you feel about the negative experiences of past relationships?

   • 1 point: It's in the past. It happened, and it's over.
   • 2 points: I often remember past relationships, feel nostalgic, and replay scenarios in my mind of how things could have been different.
   • 3 points: Why is life so unfair to me? Why did he/she choose someone else? What is wrong with me?

4. How often do you create scenes of jealousy?

   • 1 point: This has never happened.
   • 2 points: When I have suspicions, I try to gather evidence before making any accusations.
   • 3 points: At the slightest suspicion, I start a scandal, demand a confession, and cannot find peace.

5. Have you ever been cheated on, or has a partner left you for someone else?

   • 1 point: No, that has never happened to me.
   • 2 points: It has happened, but I see it as a life experience.
   • 3 points: It happened, perhaps more than once. I took it very hard and may have begged them to come back.

6. Your partner receives a phone call from a person of the opposite sex on a day off. What is your first thought?

   • 1 point: It's probably a work-related call.
   • 2 points: Who could that be? The call seems strange.
   • 3 points: They are definitely cheating on me! I need to find out the truth right now.

7. You have discovered an infidelity. What are your actions?

   • 1 point: We need to talk and figure out what to do next. Perhaps the relationship has simply run its course.
   • 2 points: This is unforgivable. I might not leave, but I will never be able to trust them again.
   • 3 points: I can't answer for my own actions. In a state of passion, thoughts of causing physical harm might arise.

Interpreting Your Score

Now, please count the total number of points you have accumulated.

From 7 to 11 Points: Confident and Trusting
You are not a jealous person. Your perspective on yourself and your partner is balanced and healthy. You understand your own worth, which allows you to trust people, and in turn, people trust you. You are seen by others as a reliable and loyal person. This level of self-assurance and trust is shared by only about ten percent of the population.

From 12 to 16 Points: Moderate Jealousy
You experience an average degree of jealousy, which may be connected to negative experiences from your past. While you are capable of assessing situations rationally and finding compromises, you have a guarded trust in others and often prefer to rely primarily on yourself. This is the most common experience for the majority of people.

From 17 to 21 Points: Pathological Jealousy
Your results indicate a level of pathological jealousy deeply connected with low self-esteem, inferiority complexes, and a profound fear of loneliness. In this state, jealousy is not a sign of love for your partner, but rather a reaction to the potential humiliation and damage to your dignity that infidelity would cause. The fear is so intense that you might be willing to take extreme measures to prevent infidelity or to seek revenge if it occurs.