The Money Trap: More Wealth, Less Happiness

People often list happiness, love, or health as their ultimate wish. Yet, the one thing most frequently omitted, though universally desired, is money. And preferably, a lot of it, right now. But rarely does anyone stop to ask the fundamental question: "What do I truly need this money for?"

The more capital a person accumulates, the more this question can transform from a whisper into a roar. The paradox is that with increasing wealth, the purpose behind it can become less clear, not more. Many who possess what others only dream of find themselves still reflecting on this. The goals and motives for earning money evolve dramatically over a lifetime.

Why do we want it so badly? What is the real engine driving this pursuit? The common answer is that you can’t get anywhere without it—money means comfort, security, freedom, and status. But the topic runs much deeper. If we are honest, a great many people who earn enormous sums are, firstly, not free, and secondly, still plagued by anxiety, insomnia, and a persistent feeling that it’s never enough. This suggests that money isn't truly about the freedom or happiness we imagine. We’ve all met people who are absolutely happy with very little capital, and conversely, those who desperately chase wealth, often unaware that the prize they'll win is something entirely different from what they expected.

Often, a kind of euphoria initially washes over these achievers. They feel like masters of the universe, untouchable. But with time, this feeling is often replaced by emptiness or fear—especially the fear of losing the big money they now have, which can be far more terrifying than the fear of having none at all. When caught in this trap, the question "What do I need money for?" takes on a desperate, haunting tone. Behind this eternal thirst for more, there is always a motivation. Understanding it is the first step toward living consciously and not letting money control your life.

The Motive of Security

What is security? It is confidence in tomorrow, in oneself, and in one's capabilities. If an unexpected fine appears, a car breaks down, or a loved one falls ill, money can solve the problem. There's a famous saying: "If a problem can be solved with money, it's not a problem, but an expense." But what if the money isn't there? In that moment, a person feels fear, vulnerability, and weakness.

Our brain creates an illusion in stressful situations: "If I have money, I am safe." This can be a direct path to paranoia, to becoming a modern-day Scrooge McDuck, where fear, disguised as a desire for financial security, begins to control your consciousness.

The Motive of Freedom

A second powerful motive is freedom. Money provides the opportunity to choose how to live, where to live, and what to do. The thought is often, "If I have money, I can do what I want," instead of constantly having to do what it takes to earn more money.

This can be a working model. By having capital, you can buy free time. That time can be invested in self-development, acquiring new skills that make you more valuable. These skills can then be reinvested into your work, which brings in more money. It’s a virtuous cycle, perhaps the ideal one to strive for.

The Motive of Social Status

Money rules society. A person might have a rich inner world, but what often matters more to others is a rich bank account. The desire for money in this case can stem from a need to boost self-esteem and acquire self-respect. A person with money feels valuable, significant. It's a subconscious thirst to rise above, to not be worse than others.

However, success often precedes money. Actors, musicians, and writers can build a huge following before they are compensated for it. It is crucial to remember that a person's true value is never measured by the numbers in their bank account.

The Motive of Power

This motive flows directly from the last. The simple postulate is that money equals power. The more of it a person has, the more their actions are guided by a single principle: "I do this because I can." Perhaps they don't truly want a second bedroom or oysters flown in on a private jet, but why not, if the opportunity exists?

Private jets, fawning service, and the deferential glances of others create a dangerous illusion of exclusivity. It's dangerous because, like any illusion, it can burst in a second. If the finances disappear, so does the power. In its place, in the eyes of others, will be triumph, pity, or disdain. As King Solomon said, "Everything passes, and this too shall pass."

The Motive of Happiness (and Time)

There's an old saying, "Happiness is not in money." An interesting study from Harvard University specialists explored this very idea—whether the desire for money is primarily a desire for happiness. Does more money make you happier? The results were quite the opposite.

The study, which surveyed 100,000 working adults, found that happy people are not those who spend their time earning money, but those who spend money to get more time. Participants who chose time over money consistently reported warmer relationships, greater job satisfaction, and a greater sense of joy in life. It’s counterintuitive, but something to remember when you're on your fifth cup of coffee at 1 AM to meet another deadline. You won't become happier.

The Emptiness of Chasing the "Dream Life"

How do you avoid chasing money when everyone around you seems to be doing it? In our technological age, the attributes of success are constantly before our eyes: beautiful pictures, expensive cars, helicopter shopping trips. It can feel shameful not to chase this "successful success." We start comparing ourselves and inevitably conclude we are falling short.

When these thoughts arise, you have fallen into a trap. You believe the pictures, but you don't know the reality behind them. These images and motivational posts are captivating, especially when someone says, "I did it, and you can too." But fast success is the exception, not the rule. What truly works is a systematic approach, learning, and a supportive environment.

The authors of these posts often earn from their followers' envy and thirst for quick money. But no picture on the internet shows what's truly inside those smiling on a luxurious yacht. Often, it is emptiness. The race for the dream life cannot be endless. While you're running, you live in an illusion of movement and purpose. But eventually, the bar is raised so high that you can no longer clear it. You are forced to stop. And this is where the danger lies. A person stops, looks around, and realizes they may have been running in the wrong direction all along.

This shift in values is common among successful people. There are many examples of wealthy individuals who gave up fortunes for spiritual growth or to help others. Carl Rohdefer grew disillusioned with luxury and transferred his fortune to a fund to fight poverty. Perhaps at some point, the truth is revealed: money can't fix the world or the problems within oneself. Until a person grows internally, no amount of money will help; it may only make things worse.

You can get so carried away by the pursuit that you forget what you were chasing in the first place. This is where an oppressive horror can set in, as you realize you've reduced your existence to an aimless process of earning. Sam Polk, a former successful Wall Street trader, admitted in an interview with The New York Times that he had developed a true addiction to money. "I wanted more money for the same reason an alcoholic needs another drink," he said. No matter how much he had, he envied those with more and desperately feared losing what he possessed. He eventually quit his brilliant career to break the addiction, wrote a book, and started a charitable organization. Most importantly, he got free.

How to Avoid the Unnecessary Race

How can one distinguish their own desires from those imposed by the outside world? There are workable methods.

1. Filter Your Information Diet. When scrolling through social media, the moment a picture triggers the thought, "I wish I had that," pause. Ask yourself: "Why do I need this? Is this truly my desire?" A useful technique is to repeatedly ask "Why?" For example: "I want a cool car." Why? "To drive it through the city at night." Why? "So my friend Tom sees my car is cooler than his." The core motivation is revealed.
2. Learn to Talk to Yourself. Engage in an internal dialogue. This practice helps you stop being a puppet of outside influences.
3. Don't Lie to Yourself. Since you are asking yourself questions, you must answer them honestly. Deceiving yourself only makes things worse. Ask yourself daily: "What will make me happy today? What do I want most right now?" The answer is very unlikely to be money.

Conscious Earning and Spending

If the answer still seems to be money, the desire for it must be conscious and sincere. This is where financial literacy helps. It's not just about earning consciously but also spending consciously. Remember that you are the boss in your head. Your motivation for purchases should not be driven by extraneous factors or other people's opinions.

Buy an expensive car because you genuinely love automotive engineering, not because your neighbor keeps upgrading his. Live downtown because you love the view and the area, not because it's prestigious. If you prefer a quiet residential neighborhood, live there. You won't be any worse off for it.

Many people try to create "beautiful" businesses like coffee shops or boutiques because it's fashionable, even though many profitable businesses are not. Renting out hangars or owning private parking lots can be highly profitable. It is better to make a profit from a hangar than to lose money on a fashionable coffee shop.

A Final Thought

Don't be afraid to be different, "wrong," or not on-trend. Trends are invented by people to earn money. Don't be afraid to break out of that circle. Your life and your happiness are out there, and perhaps they are not in money at all.

So, let's return to the original question. You've received a vast sum of money. What's next? If you can answer that question more confidently now, then perhaps this article has achieved its goal. Any race for success must be accompanied by a sincere desire that comes from within you, and only you. No one can force you to chase false illusions or impose their worldview on you. Hopefully, these words will inspire you to think a little and start looking for answers not in numbers, but inside yourself.

References

• Whillans, A. V., Dunn, E. W., Smeets, P., Bekkers, R., & Norton, M. I. (2017). Buying time promotes happiness. Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, 114(32), 8523–8527.

  This study provides empirical evidence for the article's claim that using money to buy free time is linked to greater life satisfaction than using money to buy more material goods. The research across multiple samples demonstrates that individuals who spend money on time-saving services report greater happiness, supporting the idea that the "motive of happiness" is more about time than wealth itself.

• Polk, S. (2014, January 18). For the Love of Money. The New York Times Magazine.

  This is the first-person essay by the former Wall Street trader mentioned in the article. Polk describes his "wealth addiction" in candid detail, explaining the psychological emptiness, fear, and endless craving for more that accompanied his multi-million dollar bonuses. His story serves as a powerful, real-world example of how the pursuit of money for status and power can become a destructive force, validating the article's warnings about the darker side of wealth accumulation.