To Achieve Your Biggest Dreams, First Create a Recipe for Failure

We all hold dreams within us, those quiet, ambitious whispers of who we could become. Yet, reality has a way of pushing back, like the relentless wind against an airplane trying to take flight. Think about that plane for a moment. It doesn't climb by magic. It relies on the lift generated by its wings cutting through the air at just the right angle—the “angle of attack.” Too steep, and the plane stalls; too shallow, and it never leaves the ground.

Our lives demand a similar balance. The goal is to gain altitude, to achieve incredible things in a reasonable time, but without burning out our engines. We need to find that perfect angle of attack that allows us to soar without falling apart. The process of climbing—the journey itself—is our life. To navigate it without becoming one of those bitter souls who believe success is just a lottery ticket someone else won, you need a personal strategy.

A personal strategy isn't a to-do list; it's a long-term vector for your life, a vision of the future that guides your present. A truly powerful strategy is always built backward—not from what you have, but from who you want to be. It's deeply personal, designed for a 20-year horizon, and it's the secret scaffolding behind every person who has achieved something truly remarkable.

Dream from the Future, Not from the Couch

Your strategy must begin with a clear, ambitious dream. This "future point" should be something that inspires and even intimidates you a little. It shouldn't be something you can simply purchase. If you can map out every single step to your dream from the comfort of your couch, your dream isn't big enough.

The greatest challenge is ensuring the dream is truly yours. The expectations of loved ones and society can so easily tangle with our own desires, leading us to pursue goals that, once achieved, leave us feeling empty. To avoid this, you must:

• Put Yourself First: This isn't selfish; it's necessary. Your life strategy must serve your interests. Only when you are fulfilled can you effectively help others.
• Dream in Solitude: Find a quiet space, clear your mind of the noise of other people's advice and expectations, and just think. What do you truly want?
• Meet Your Basic Needs: It's impossible to dream about the stars when you're hungry or exhausted. Take care of your body and mind first.
• Test Your Dream: Your life will change dramatically over the next two decades, and so will you. "Taste" your dream with small "pilot projects." If you dream of opening a café, spend weekends working as a barista. These small tests refine your vision and confirm if it’s what you truly desire.

Once your future point is clear, look back at your present. Imagine the "intermediate points"—the major milestones or scenarios that could lead you to your goal. Choose the path that not only seems most effective but also feels the most authentic and enjoyable to you. From there, you can begin to map out the next five, and then the next two, years.

What Are You Truly Working With?

Only after you've defined your destination should you take stock of your resources. These are the strategic assets that are uniquely yours.

• Talents: These are your natural gifts—the raw material you were born with. They fall into three main categories: intellectual (how you think), communicative (how you connect with others), and moral-volitional (your discipline, resilience, and drive). Identify your strongest talent and build your strategy upon its foundation.
• Competencies & Experience: This is what you've learned and what you can do. It's helpful to rank your skills:
  1. I can do it.
  2. I can do it better than most.
  3. I am one of the best at this.
  4. Only I can do this.

  While the first two levels are essential, your true strategic advantage lies in levels three and four.

• Connections: Your network is a powerful resource. A dream that inspires others and brings people together will always achieve more than one pursued alone.
• Reputation: This is how the world sees you. The ideal reputation is one of a unique expert whose work provides undeniable value to others.
• Health: Your physical and mental well-being is the engine for everything else. Neglect it, and even the best strategy will grind to a halt.

Your Personal Formula for Success... and Failure

At some point, the methods that once worked will stop producing results. This is when you must pause and analyze your own patterns. You need to understand what actions consistently lead you to success and, just as importantly, what leads you to failure.

To discover your formula for success:

1. List your most significant achievements, big and small.
2. For each one, ask: What were the circumstances? What specific actions did I take? Which of my talents and skills were most crucial? Who helped me?
3. Identify the recurring actions, mindsets, and methods. This is your unique formula.

But success is only half the story. We learn far more from our mistakes. Even visionaries like Steve Jobs released failed products. To build a resilient strategy, you absolutely need a recipe for failure—a clear understanding of what trips you up.

1. List your most significant failures or disappointing results. Look for the root cause in your own actions and thinking, not in external factors.
2. For each one, ask the same questions you did for your successes.
3. Identify your most common mistakes and the warning signs that you're about to repeat them.
4. Finally, brainstorm ways to mitigate these habits.

You can't copy someone else's life, but you can learn from their experience. Find mentors or study the stories of successful people to see what common patterns emerge. But in the end, you are the one who has to execute your strategy. You cannot delegate your life to anyone else.

References

• Duckworth, A. (2016). Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance. Scribner/Simon & Schuster.
  This book provides a powerful framework for understanding the "moral-volitional" talents discussed in the article. Duckworth argues that high achievers are defined by their "grit," a combination of passion and perseverance directed toward long-term goals. This directly supports the idea of building a 20-year personal strategy and sticking to it through challenges. The entire book is relevant, but Part I, "What Grit Is and Why It Matters," is particularly foundational.
• Dweck, C. S. (2006). Mindset: The New Psychology of Success. Random House.
  Dweck's research on the "fixed mindset" versus the "growth mindset" is essential for the section on learning from failure. The article's emphasis on creating a "recipe for failure" is a practical application of the growth mindset—seeing mistakes not as evidence of inadequacy but as opportunities to learn and improve. Chapter 3, "The Truth About Ability and Accomplishment," is highly relevant to understanding how our beliefs about our talents can either limit or expand our potential.
• Burnett, B., & Evans, D. J. (2016). Designing Your Life: How to Build a Well-Lived, Joyful Life. Knopf.
  This book, written by two Stanford design professors, aligns perfectly with the concept of creating "pilot projects" to test a dream. They apply design thinking principles to life planning, encouraging readers to build prototypes of their future selves before making major commitments. This practical approach confirms the article's advice to "taste the dream" without serious resource expenditure. Chapter 4, "Getting Unstuck," and Chapter 6, "Prototyping," directly address these concepts.