How 7 Mental Habits Shape Our Choices and How to Improve Them

Have you ever looked back at a decision, one that seemed perfectly sensible at the time, only to be baffled weeks, months, or even years later by its unreasonableness? A profound sense of embarrassment, perhaps, for trusting someone you shouldn't have, or for a misjudgment that now seems glaringly obvious. Initially, everything appeared straightforward, yet hindsight reveals a completely different picture. Or conversely, have you found yourself stuck in a loop of indecision, unable to choose between simple options, only to later realize the answer was clear all along? Why do we make choices we later regret, seemingly undervaluing our own time, peace of mind, and resources? Exploring some common patterns in our thinking can offer valuable insights.

The Lingering Power of the Unfinished

It's a common experience: tasks we've started but not completed tend to nag at our minds. This idea, often associated with the research of psychologist Bluma Zeigarnik, suggests that incomplete assignments stick in our consciousness, demanding mental energy. Once a task is done and mentally "checked off," it tends to fade from our immediate memory. Think of studying intensely for an exam, only for the material to vanish from your mind shortly after you’ve passed. While it’s helpful that our brains try to clear out what’s no longer needed, these lingering unfinished items can be a significant drain on our energy.

Interestingly, fully completing a task isn't always necessary to free up that mental space. Simply having a clear plan of action—knowing the next steps—can be enough. To help manage this, consider these strategies:

• Keep a notebook or use a notes app. When something you need to do pops into your head, jot it down.
• If possible, outline how you plan to tackle the task. This can shift your focus back to the present.
• Regularly review and mark off completed tasks. This not only provides relief but can also boost productivity and even a sense of well-being.

A related tip: try to avoid opening communications like emails if you aren't prepared to address them. Reading it without a plan to respond just adds another unresolved issue to your mental load.

The Deception of Averages

Averages can often paint a misleading picture. Imagine a scenario in a small private bank with two financial managers. One handles the funds of a few extremely wealthy clients, while the other manages the funds of other, less affluent (but still important) clients. If the goal is to increase the average pool of money for both managers, a seemingly simple solution might be to transfer one "average" wealthy client to the second manager. This might technically lift the average for the second manager without significantly harming the first manager's numbers, all without acquiring new clients.

This illustrates how "average" figures can obscure the reality of individual components. Consider another example: if three friends are in a car, with monthly earnings of, say, 25,000, 50,000, and 100,000 currency units, their average income is 58,333. This sounds respectable. But if they pick up a fourth friend who happens to be a billionaire, the "average" salary skyrockets to an astronomical figure that tells you very little about what most individuals in the group actually earn. The lesson here is that an average value can be deceptive, and any single unit within that average can have vastly different characteristics.

The Echo Chamber of Empty Words

Knowledge can be broadly categorized into two types. First, there's genuine, hard-earned knowledge, acquired through significant time and mental effort. Then, there's what might be called "chauffeur's knowledge." This refers to the ability to articulate something impressively without a deep understanding, much like someone who has memorized a speech but cannot engage with the subject matter beyond the script. Such individuals might possess a commanding voice or a convincing demeanor, but their understanding is superficial. If you probe deeper, their knowledge often reveals itself to be hollow.

This phenomenon isn't new, but with the rise of social media and influencers, this kind of superficial presentation is widespread, making it increasingly difficult to distinguish from true expertise. The public may sometimes be swayed more by a good performance than by actual substance. It's crucial to be discerning. Don't blindly trust grand statements. If an educator seems more focused on entertainment than teaching, question their depth. When evaluating a new employee, remember that a polished appearance or a well-crafted resume doesn't guarantee competence. True experts usually recognize the limits of their knowledge and are not afraid to admit when they don't know something, unlike those who project unearned authority. Be mindful, too, of inadvertently becoming a purveyor of such "chauffeur's knowledge" by sharing unverified information just because it sounds compelling. Sticking to your actual circle of competence is key.

The Compulsion to Act

Consider a penalty kick in soccer. The ball is struck from a short distance, reaching the goal in less than three-tenths of a second. This is hardly enough time for the goalkeeper to observe the ball's trajectory and make a fully informed decision. Goalkeepers often dive to one side or the other almost as the ball is kicked. Statistically, they might have similar chances of saving the ball if they remained in the center, as some shots are aimed there. Yet, they almost invariably jump. Why? Because it looks more active than standing still, even if the dive is unsuccessful.

This illustrates a "bias for action"—an inclination to act, even if that action is not particularly useful, simply to avoid the discomfort of perceived passivity. This can be seen in many areas. If you visit a doctor feeling unwell, there might be pressure for an immediate prescription, even if tests are needed for a proper diagnosis. The uncertainty of waiting can be difficult, so any action feels better than none. However, a well-considered decision is often superior to a hasty one. If you receive an unexpected bonus, the immediate urge might be to spend it. But waiting and thinking could lead to a more sensible use for that money. Sometimes, the most effective action is, in fact, inaction. Allowing for a period of reflection can lead to better outcomes than rushing to do something.

The Comforting Mirror of Self-Praise

Reflect on a past success—an exam aced, a job interview nailed. Now, think of a time you felt you failed. In the first instance, it’s natural to credit your hard work and skill. In the second, it's common to find external excuses: the task was unfair, the evaluator was biased, or the subject was simply "not for you." This tendency to attribute successes to our own qualities and failures to external factors is known as the self-serving bias.

This bias can extend to many areas of life. Profitable investments are due to your keen insight; losses are because of a bad market. A harmonious marriage is because you're a good partner; quarrels are the other person's fault. While comforting, this bias has serious consequences. It can prevent you from taking responsibility for negative outcomes in your life. If you don't feel responsible, you're less likely to take the initiative to change things for the better. To counteract this, actively appreciate honest feedback, even if it's difficult to hear. People who offer sincere, constructive criticism can be invaluable, distinguishing them from those who are merely negative. Remember that you almost always contribute to the situations you find yourself in, even if it's a small part. Acknowledging your role in setbacks allows you to learn and improve.

The Paralysis of Too Many Paths

Consider someone juggling multiple jobs and constantly contemplating adding another. Perhaps one teaches yoga in the morning, works as an administrator during the day, and writes blog articles in the evening, all while considering a weekend gig at a gym. The issue might not be financial need, but a fear of missing out (FOMO)—a reluctance to close doors. The thought process might be: "If I stop one thing, I might later realize it was my true calling and regret quitting." Choosing one path means forgoing others, and keeping all options open can feel safer, even if it means being spread thin.

While having options is good, the problem arises when you scatter your energy across too many areas, failing to give adequate attention to any single one. Each choice carries a cost. Companies trying to appeal to every conceivable customer may end up effectively reaching none. Authors writing for everyone may find a limited audience. Salespeople chasing every lead might close few deals. Instead, try to gain clarity on what you genuinely want and, just as importantly, what you don't want to pursue. This focus can help in making decisions that align with your true goals. Removing the extraneous can free you to concentrate on what truly matters, enhancing productivity. As the old saying goes, you can't chase two hares at once and expect to catch either.

The Power of Presentation

The way an idea is conveyed dramatically influences how it's received. Compare these two requests: "The sink is full of dishes again!" versus "Dear, please wash the dishes. Thank you." Which sentence is more likely to result in clean dishes? Clearly, the second. The wording is paramount.

Researchers once conducted an experiment offering people two types of meat, asking them to choose the healthier option: "meat 99 percent fat-free" or "meat with one percent fat." Most chose the first option, believing it to be healthier, even though both described the exact same product. In a follow-up, subjects chose between "meat 98 percent fat-free" and "meat with one percent fat." Again, the majority selected the first option ('98 percent fat-free'), even though it could objectively contain more fat (2% fat) than the 'meat with one percent fat,' demonstrating how the framing influenced their perception of healthiness. It’s often not just what you say, but how you say it.

Everything can be presented and interpreted in multiple ways. Choose your words thoughtfully; it can elevate your communication. Conversely, be aware that everything you hear is filtered through your own consciousness and can be distorted. Before making decisions based on what someone else has said, pause and consider if you might be interpreting it incorrectly. Try to look at the situation from different angles.

By understanding these common tendencies in our thinking, we can become more aware of them in our daily lives. This awareness is the first step toward making clearer, more conscious decisions that we are less likely to regret.

References:

• Tversky, A., & Kahneman, D. (1981). The framing of decisions and the psychology of choice. Science, 211(4481), 453-458.

  This foundational paper explores how the way information is presented (or "framed") can significantly influence judgment and decision-making, even when the underlying facts are identical. It highlights that people react differently to a particular choice depending on whether it is presented as a loss or as a gain, which directly relates to the article's point on "The Power of Presentation." For instance, the meat example discussed in the article is a classic illustration of framing effects.

• Miller, D. T., & Ross, M. (1975). Self-serving biases in the attribution of causality: Fact or fiction?. Psychological Bulletin, 82(2), 213–225.

  This influential article reviews the psychological literature on the self-serving bias, the tendency for individuals to attribute successes to their own internal characteristics (like ability or effort) and failures to external factors (like luck or task difficulty). This directly supports the section "The Comforting Mirror of Self-Praise," explaining the psychological underpinnings of why people find excuses for failures but take personal credit for successes.

• Savitsky, K., Medvec, V. H., & Gilovich, T. (1997). Remembering and regretting: The Zeigarnik effect and the cognitive availability of regrettable actions and inactions. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 23(3), 248-257.

  This research connects the Zeigarnik effect (the tendency to better remember unfinished tasks) to the experience of regret. The paper suggests that incomplete tasks or unachieved goals (in a broader sense) are more cognitively accessible, which can contribute to feelings of regret. This aligns with the article's section on "The Lingering Power of the Unfinished" and its impact on mental energy and the introductory theme of regretting past decisions or inactions.